I wonder about all the fairy tales that were read to us as lil girls. The cartoons where the princess & her prince lives happily ever after, the movies that glorified romance in such a beautiful way…it made me feel as though love was perfect & the source of all of my happiness, until we grew up & realized that love is anything but.

Then, I wonder why my mom NEVER told me how hard it would be. Just the other day I wanted to call her & say, “Ma, what’s up with that?”…lol. In all honesty, our moms can give us but so much advice on love & how to love a man & maintain a great relationship, but it is ultimately up to us as women on how we do it. You can fall in love with a great man, a man who is not so great, or you can just fall in love with the idea of being in love, not seeing the man beyond his exterior. I must admit that I was one of those women who couldn’t tell the difference. Now I can.

What now?

Love takes a lot of hard work to build & even more hard work to stay in it! Love is not what is pretended to be in movies, television & even in cartoons where they pretty much confuse our little girls as we speak! We used to suck our teeth & shake our heads at the sappy love music on the radio until we’ve experienced what the singer is talking about. That’s when we stand & praise to it like we’re in church catching the holy ghost!

I see myself as a woman where I think EVERY man should fall in love with me! I’m not vain nor conceited, but for every other woman who thinks the same way, I’m pretty sure y’all understand. So, why is it so damn hard for so many of us? The “Cinderella” mentality  has really brainwashed us! Our expectations of romance & falling in love are high, believing it could be a beautiful thing to experience, but in the REAL world, it takes a lot more than just getting the glass slipper.

It’s true that the best love you can have is the love that you give yourself. Honestly…I can love myself with all the love that is built inside of me to the core, but there will come a time when you want to have someone hold you, kiss you, & to the world your just one person, but that person lets it be known that you ARE their world!

I’m not gonna spend my time searching for love. In searching for it, I feel I will come across nothing but confusion & heartache. Love is very strange. It makes us do & say things we wouldn’t normally do or say. Fairy Tales never taught us about the downside of love. Therefore, we as mothers & women who have experienced the ups & downs of love should teach our kids that it’s not all peaches & cream. We need to tell them to prepare for the reality of it. We have to teach them that love also puts us in a position to get hurt. We sacrifice our hearts for love.

The reality of love between a man & a woman is that it has to be felt & built from the ground up from both. Make sure you’re in love with the person & not the idea of being in love because it’s not fair to neither one of you if you cannot tell the difference. sometimes, ppl can’t even tell when love exists, because they’re blind to it. Love can smack them in the face, but to them it’s assault.  Either you put your all into love, or it will break you down. No movie, cartoon or even music can tell you that much.

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.