There was a time when I associated couples who appeared to be successful with “relationship goals”. Then one day, I came to the realization that what looks good on the outside may not look as good on the inside when it comes to others’ relationships.

Relationships require a lot of work to stay healthy and genuine, and I’m sure for some of us single people, it could be difficult to go from “all about me” to “sacrifice for us”. The rest of us who are in relationships are probably thinking they’d be happier single because things aren’t going as expected.

When we start a relationship with our partner, we go through “trial and error”. Believe it or not, we’re still getting to know our mates from the inside out, so best believe, single folks shouldn’t feel bad for being single. Singlehood is a part of life! Singlehood gives us the opportunity to discover who we are as individuals, so when we are finally ready to explore a relationship, we’ll mesh well with our partner.

That beautiful couple with the big smiles you see on your Facebook news feed probably used a lot of energy, tears, and pain to get where they are today. That successful Hollywood couple you adore in movies and television probably spent a few years in counseling for extramarital affairs. I’m pretty sure that elderly couple walking towards you in the aisle of the supermarket went through extreme measures to keep their marriage solid through the hectic times in the 50s and 60s when racism was unbearable and oppression was thick among black communities.

The POV is…..all couples have a story to tell…and their stories aren’t all “peaches n cream”.

 

Some of us who are single yearns to be in a loving relationship, and some of us who are in relationships yearns to be single again because their relationship isn’t prospering. It all comes down to what we’re willing to tolerate and fight for and what we feel we shouldn’t invest energy on.

In conclusion, I’d like to encourage the single folks that when the time is right, you will be in a relationship you deserve. The one thing you’d want to remember is not to dwell too much on wanting a relationship. When you do, the dwelling will grow into an obsession that will hinder you and make you seem desperate and needy to your partner, and we don’t want that. Every one of us experiences different things in each chapter in our lives. That nice couple you see and wish you could have a relationship like theirs could be at chapter 19 while you’re on chapter 27 (and vice versa).

 

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.