Talking about the passing of my mother is not something that I just talk about all the time.  It’s a very sensitive topic. It’s a conversation that I have had internally with myself,  with my mom and god and very few people.

Life and death happens to everyone. When it does It forever changes you. Every day is a struggle to just keep going and to just keep dealing.

Every second, every day, every holiday, birthday or anything good or bad that comes up. You’re reminded that that person is not there. Every day you learn to deal with it.

Some people never get over the loss of a loved one. Others do in their own way and time, but the grieving is always there on some level.

Dealing with the loss of a parent at an early age, is never easy. It shakes your whole life up. Especially when you lose your mother like I have at the age of 14. That’s your whole identity right there. That’s the person whose suppose to teach you how to be a woman. How to be a mom one day (if you choose) and everything in between that relates to being a woman.

All these things I learned very early by my mom, in someway and other life lessons, I have been guided from the other side. Not only that, god has kept me. I always do my best to see it as, everything that I was taught and things that I knew not to do, was by learning from other people’s mistakes or lessons.

I knew after her passing, that I was going to need god if I was to survive and I was going to need myself most of all.

People are always somewhat surprised, when they hear I lost my mom so young, and they compliment me on being a good person and how I turned out to be the women that I am.

I take is as a compliment because my life could have turned out a totally different way.

The way I honor my mother is by being the daughter that she raised for almost 15 years. The things she taught me and the things that I observed.

My mother had an unfair life, to everyone she was an angel, always there for others but rarely had anyone there for her.

I had the type of mother, that everyone wanted, but she was mine :). I feel so blessed and special that god chose us to be together for the length of time that he did and that is to be honored, not mourned.

When I’m faced with a decision, that I really need a woman’s opinion on, I know that I can always bring her in on it and her spirit is very much there and so is god.

I never celebrate the day she passed, What for?? I’m reminded everyday. I choose to celebrate her life.

I had to stop talking to family who kept talking about her death, especially on Facebook. That’s not the way you honor a loved one by talking about how they died and when, especially with a whole bunch of strangers who don’t know her.

That is not a way to honor her life and everything that she went through. When you love someone, you are at peace with them being at peace finally!

Everyday when I look in the mirror, I see my mom and the best way I can honor my mother, is by being a sweet, selfless, loving, compassionate person because I am a reflection of her.

If I’m never anyone’s wife, girlfriend, mother, or lover, the best compliment in this lifetime is that I am my mother’s daughter and that is to be HONORED.

 

Aisha Denise

A passionate writer from New Jersey who’s also a music lover and a foodie!

My love of writing started when I was just a baby! Now as an in-depth woman, I still have that passion for words, as well as life. In my spare time, I love to cook, read, dance, blog, and just enjoy what life has to offer.