I’m torn between being optimistic and being pessimistic of nice white folks who are conscious enough to sympathize with what us black folks go through. Racial division and racial inequality have been running rampant in this country for as long as I can remember.

The one thing I observe every time a national racial crisis occurs is the need for the non-racist white community to come forward with questions on how to become productive allies against racism. As much as I appreciate the proactive attitude to combat racism, I can’t help but remain doubtful.

Let’s be honest.

Your racist friends were taught to hate at an early age, so hate is embedded in their hearts. Now, that they’re grown and know when, how, and why they’re on their racist bullshit, it’s hard to believe another adult can convince them to change. Racists are settled in their evil ways, and if you, the conscious white person, allowed their hate to surround you all this time, what makes you think they’ll change now?

The black community has tried to speak out against racism for years, but they didn’t want to hear it. Black people’s stance against racism was labeled as complaining and our cries went unheard. NOW, We’re stricken with grief over a president who created policies that don’t align with the value of black lives, deepens oppression for people of color, and sets limitations for the LGBT community.

Trump has given your racist friends that extra confidence to be much bolder with their racist bullshit. I’ll bet some of you are responsible for putting Trump in office. How do you feel now? I don’t want to say, “I told you so”, but…

Your white racist friends have gone above and beyond to cause harm to even people like you. 32-year-old Heather Heyer losing her life is the perfect example. Heather was a conscious white person who stood against racism and protested when she was murdered by a White Supremacist son of a bitch! Will what we tell y’all to say to your racist friends really make a difference? Remember…we still have SYSTEMIC racism that we’re fighting against, too.

We are living in a country where a black woman, Takiyah Thompson, gets arrested for toppling a confederacy-represented statue, but no arrests have yet to be made on the White Supremacists’ brutal beating of a 20-year-old black man.

We shouldn’t have to educate y’all on how to check your racist friends, but If you must know, there’s ONE thing that I believe will set the foundation for them to understand and that’s deciphering between “white lives matter” & “black lives matter”. White supremacists out there, chanting White Lives Matter as if they have to remind people. We HAVE to remind society that black lives matter because we live in a country where our lives aren’t valued.

All eyes are on Charlottesville, VA as we watch coverage of the horror that took place at UVA. On August 12, white supremacists were in Charlottesville to protest the city’s plan to remove the statue of The Confederacy’s top general, Robert E. Lee. They clashed with counter-protesters, Black Lives Matter/Anti-racists protesters, ending with multiple injuries and 1 fatality.

The world waited with anticipation, for Trump, who seems to have an extreme case of Twitter fingers. Hours went by when we realized his lack of urgency to address what happened with the press or even tweet about it, fueled our beliefs about what we’ve expected of him all along.

The longer Trump went silent, the more he proved to align himself with those white supremacists. Let’s be real, people!! These people are his base of supporters and the reason why he is #45.

He finally tweets this….

 

As we expected, his tweet lacked passion, substance, and felt very generic.

 

He had one more chance to prove that he isn’t the most incompetent president ever with a press conference.

 

Let’s just highlight part of his statement, “condemning violence on many sides.”

You know what that screams?

He dismisses the violence of the white supremacists by not acknowledging their roles as the initiators, and not holding them accountable for their actions.  I mean…WHY WOULD HE?

He hangs out with these people when they’re no cameras around

 

Are we really surprised with all that’s transpired?

Are we really surprised that Trump has yet to be direct and call it for what it is? DOMESTIC TERRORISM

Those were White Supremacists who marched not for freedom of speech and solidarity, but for hatred and intentions to harm and he’s being silent about their actions! I find it hard to believe that they marched for any kind of peace with weapons and mace in tow. One of them actually drove a vehicle into a crowd, killing an anti-racism protester.

What kind of message does a silent president send? It sends the message that he’s complicit with what’s taken place. His actions, views, and policies as President solidify the notion.

Trump’s Speech on White Supremacy March in VA Proves One Thing and that is he doesn’t give a DAMN about black lives and Americans with a conscious for racial equality. 

45 uses pretty words for the camera, giving some folks the illusion that he supports equality for all, but behind closed doors, he praises those white supremacists for what they’ve done. His power as a president will only give people like him the confidence to spread their hate and as long as he serves, it will only get worse.

We are reliving those times, ladies and gentlemen. The times when we’ve wondered how our parents and grandparents lived through those times.

It’s recycled racism…racism that has never really gone away.

We have a president who has yet to voice the truth behind the violence that’s taken place in Charlottesville. He says condemning violence on both sides, but those injuries sustained and the person who was murdered with a vehicle were NOT white supremacists.

At this VERY moment, Trump is being praised on racist websites for not calling out the white supremacists for their actions. This is a president who once called Black Lives Matter “hostile and violent” but……

 

 

Rest in Peace, 32-year-old Heather Heyer, a VA paralegal who lost her life, protesting for peace.

 

For some time now, we have witnessed this “beef” between two dynamic artists who should be embracing each other, instead of “throwing shade”.

We’re talking about Brandy and Monica

Both are singing sensations who were brought up in an era when R&B was dominated by male groups. Despite the popularity of groups like Boyz II Men, Dru Hill, and Jodeci, these two women proved to the industry that being young and female doesn’t suppress their ability to shine bright like a diamond!

As a fan of both and as a black woman, I’m disappointed about this feud that’s started in the late 90s but resurfaced and escalated in recent months. That’s why I feel compelled to write this open letter in hopes that it will reach them and share my thoughts on something so trivial, yet, powerful enough to feed into the perception that black women do not get along.

 

Dear Brandy and Monica,

Although I’m a few years older than both of you, I looked up to you ladies and still do. Growing into adulthood in the nineties, your music was the soundtrack of my life. I’m sure it was the same for many of your fans and that’s why you both are legends in my eyes. I’ve observed this feud and despite the “entertainment” it provides for us ( social media followers, and bloggers/blog readers), I can’t help but feel like I’m witnessing the downfall of a sisterhood that should be stronger than this guy’s jacket!

tightasshit

Now, we all know that media can exaggerate things and make situations seem bigger than what it is. As a result, fans and critics alike will add their two cents, adding more fuel to the fire. The media and the fans will become problematic because their two cents will cause more division between two talented queens who should be celebrating one another. It gets worse when the both of you publicly responds to one another (although, it seems one of you is taking a higher road). That’s what the world needs to see more of—black women lifting each other up, especially when they share a bond.

What is the bond you both share? Quite a few…

You both started in the industry as teenagers…

You both snatch souls with your voices…

You both suffered a traumatic experience…

You both have grown into beautiful women with beautiful families and are definitely women our little girls can look up to.

teenbranandmo

 

I don’t care who’s right or wrong…I don’t care to debate with other fans about who’s throwing more shade than whom…I don’t care to debate about who has the most hits, who sings “better”, who dresses better and all the other fuckery your fans are beefing about on social media. 

What I do care to see are two talented beauties coming together and squash whatever beef they have, because society needs to see that women can support one another…particularly black women.

A feud between Brandy and Monica is like watching a feud between Maya Angelou and Nikki Giovanni! Or Whitney and Mariah! None of this doesn’t make any sense!

icecubestare

 

I hope that whatever has transpired offline between the two of you can be resolved in a more mature fashion. We have to inspire, motivate and uplift one another because we are a part of a society that tells us that we don’t. We (black women) are generally perceived as bitches/angry women with bad attitudes. There is also the perception that we don’t get along, and unfortunately, we have enough reality shows that feed into that perception.

Ask yourselves how would the late great Whitney feel if she was alive to see the division between her two sweethearts.

At some point, you’ll have to realize that this feud is definitely not worth losing a friendship over. As women, that whole competitive mentality we have divides us when it doesn’t have to be that way. We all go through similar life experiences but through different chapters in our lives.

You both are blessed beyond measure with a talent given by God. Let it all go and start supporting one another on your achievements as an artist, a mother, and gems who changed the game in R&B. Great things really do happen when we support one another. 

Sincerely,

Lakia

brandymonica2

 

 

 

 

 

‘Procter & Gamble’ teamed up with ‘My Black Is Beautiful’ for this much-needed ad titled “The Talk” and since the release, it has garnered some negative feedback. The televised ad depicts random families, people of color, informing their kids on how to exist in a world full of racism. Before I go any further. Hit play below!

 

This ad basically highlights the conversations that no parent of color should have with their kid. Unfortunately, we have to because our kids have to learn to survive in a world that doesn’t see their worth. This ad reflects our truth, but with the truth, comes folks who criticize what they don’t understand.

What I fail to see is why many of the white folks, particularly police officers, are upset about this ad. Nowhere in the ad does it visualize all police officers as racists or all white folks are racists. However, we can’t deny the fact that racism, white privilege, and racial profiling are all prevalent in this country. As a result, we have these talks so our kids can make it home safely. We have these talks so our little black girls and boys can develop into confident and productive adults. We have these talks so our kids will know that they deserve equal treatment as their white friends.

Our truth was revealed in a 70-second video in front of the whole country but Y’ALL are mad!!!!

 

Read these asinine comments

If you care to watch, here is a cop’s response to the ad here.

It’s beyond amazing how you guys try to rationalize racism with your totally biased ideologies and finger-pointing. The rage that’s felt is a clear reflection of why we have to have “the talk”. You guys are going as far as boycotting, which is hilarious! ‘Procter & Gamble’ is a multinational manufacturer of products for family, personal and household care products. I’m pretty sure that you have 95% of their products in your home. So, if you’re gonna “boycott”, be ready to walk around hungry, stinky, or both!

Good luck!

Girlfriends…Living Single…Martin…Insecure…Waiting To Exhale…Girls Trip

What does all of these have in common?

They all have gone above and beyond to display black women and their friendships in a more positive light. Let’s forget about the ratchet reality shows that make black women look bad, and focus on the good the aforementioned projects have done for women of color.

Like I say here, it makes life easier for us if we take the time to understand what Sisterhood is really about and how we can implement it in our daily lives. Whether we want to believe it or not, we need each other. We have to inspire, motivate and uplift one another because we are a part of a society that tells us that we don’t. We (black women) are generally perceived as bitches/angry women with bad attitudes. Shows like ‘Living Single’ and films like ‘Girls Trip’ diminish the perception that black women cannot get along. I’m thankful for creators of shows mentioned who use their creativity to conceptualize sisterhood on screen the way it should be.

I have something to share…I’ve had a valuable lesson in sisterhood recently that has made me see myself in a different light. It made me evaluate my circle for what it used to be and visualize my friendships for how they are now. Despite the fictional storylines of ‘Girls Trip’, ‘Living Single’ and ‘Insecure’, women like me can use them as templates and apply what we’ve learned to our own friendships. As entertaining as it is to y’all, a toxic episode of ‘Basketball Wives’ could NEVER!!!!

I applaud these films and television shows that depict wonderful friendships among women of color. Not only for my love to see us displayed with warmth, but there weren’t many film and television projects that depicted us in such a way. Let’s get serious here! At one point, we’ve had MANY shows like ‘Friends’ and films like ‘Sex In The City’. Despite the enjoyment those projects gave us, none of the characters looked like us. Additionally, ratchet reality shows with women of color ripping each other’s weaves off, were making a killing in ratings and still are to this day.

 

Despite the few quarrels and disputes the characters have had, ‘Girlfriends’ was that groundbreaking successful show that depicts women of color who kept the love going for the sake of sisterhood.

 

 

Gina and Pam from ‘Martin’ were the epitome of bestfriendism. Despite the animosity between Gina’s man and her bestie, their friendship stayed solid! I guess their on-screen chemistry was solid because they’ve been besties in real life for years.

Despite their different upbringing and differences, Whitley and Kim from ‘A Different World’ displayed a friendship full of support and devotion. Even throughout their many squabbles, their sisterly bond remained intact.

 

Sisterhood is essential to the lives of women, especially women of color. Let’s be honest…could we really reach our highest potential in womanhood without sisterhood? Sisterhood, I believe, is the foundation of our support system. film and television shows that depict black women friendships in a more positive light remind us of that. Those projects reflect what real life friendships among black women supposed to look like.

I’m grateful for the reminder

Social media is such an integral part of our livelihood. Thinking back to the days before the internet, I wonder how we were able to live without social media. Now, there are millions of households with a computer where families use them for businesses, family interactions, and more.

When we log onto our social media profiles, we do it with a certain level of anticipation; to see what our friends and families are up to, to promote our products, businesses, and anything else that makes social media so enjoyable to use. The downside to using social media is the exposure to double standards and the one-sided perception of beauty…particularly about women and their sizes.

raven

Social media gives some folks a platform to express their senseless ideologies about women’s sizes, and it just proves how ignorant they are to create memes that undermine women with a slender physique. They’re just as silly as the people who share memes of that nature.

If the woman was born with a vagina, then she’s REAL, regardless of size! Because she’s a size two, doesn’t make her any less, or more, of a woman than the next woman.

What is “real” supposed to be, other than being made with cells, organs, molecules, and atoms?????

steak

There’s nothing wrong with women, or men, appreciating thicker curves, but do that without demeaning women who are not as curvaceous!

Women…if you are curvy, be proud of that shit, but don’t put down your slender sistah to elevate your confidence. Beauty really does come in all sizes!

Guys…if you appreciate women who are “thicker than a snicker”, then that’s your preference. However, it doesn’t show how much of a gentleman you are when you put down women who are not as thick. What kind of a man does that?

 

These types of memes are full of rhetoric and it’s more problematic than encouraging. People who create and share these memes would think they help boost confidence, but they can cause division and self-image issues more than anything else. The inaccuracy and pettiness of these memes are what burns my soul, and I see them on my social media newsfeed daily. Kids are considered the impressionable ones, but certain adults can be just as impressionable by what they read when the material or content applies to them.

A REAL woman is not based off what size she is, her realness is based off what she’s made of..water, flesh, bones, and in our sistahs’ case…MELANIN! Her confidence should come from how she feels about herself without putting the next woman down.

Society does enough of downplaying women with thicker figures, which is why it should be understood that undermining sistahs with skinnier frames won’t make us feel any better about ourselves. That kind of behavior will only make us look like we need higher self-esteem.

The next time you see a “real women have curves” meme, think about it before you press “repost’. You could be dividing, instead of helping.

 

For the longest time, I have battled with my weight, because I believed that I actually had weight to battle. Because of that damn BMI, I was convinced that I was “overweight”. Maybe to doctors, I am. However, I no longer feel like I am, so screw doctors!

If you’ve never heard of Body Mass Index, it’s a person’s weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters. Obviously, this index doesn’t take into account the health, flexibility, strength, and muscle mass of a person. It certainly doesn’t pick up on a person’s self-acceptance, confidence, and the ability to look beyond numbers on a scale.

I don’t feel obese, or even overweight for that matter! In fact, I feel beautiful and I embrace every inch of my curves. As long as I continue to eat healthy and work out to the best of my ability, I’m good.

I don’t meet society’s standards of normal weight, but society is not going to tell me I shouldn’t be happy and confident with the skin I’m in because I’m not 5’9″.

This is why people are suffering in silence with an eating disorder, becoming addicted to fat loss surgery, and forming other unhealthy habits that could be destructive to one’s mind, body, and soul.

I say stay off the scales, unless you really want to know how much you weight. Remember… not becoming obsessed with the number on the scale keeps away that inevitable pressure to live up to the standard of others and not your own.

It’s time for us to be REAL with ourselves in a world full of FAKE.

No…I’m not a new mother. My youngest child is 11-years-old. I’m just slim-thick in a short package and have been for some time, and you know what? I plan to stay this way, despite what society says.

Yes…I have thick thighs, a belly, and stretch marks…and YES….I’m STILL feeling myself.

The unrealistic pressure on women these days to get their figures to a certain level annoys me to no end. It’s my belief that not only society, but media also has a lot to do with how it negatively impacts the body image and self-esteem of women and girls.

The depiction of women in media are held by certain beauty standards. As a 160 lb.woman, short in stature, and a woman of color, I can’t relate to most of them. Am I bothered by it all? HELL YES! Will I let it negatively affect how I feel about my body? HELL NO!

Body image is both internal (personal) and external (society)

This includes:

How we perceive our bodies visually
How we feel about our physical appearance
How we think and talk to ourselves about our bodies
Our sense of how other people view our bodies

External forces, including a BMI, should never tell you how to view your body. Society should never make you change how you see your physical appearance. Unless your weight could affect you health wise, I say rock your thickness unapologetically. F*^k what a BMI chart says. F*^k what society says you should look like.

Self-love suppresses lack of confidence and external negative influence.

Love yourself

You attend a concert for your favorite artist….

The last thing you expect is to get punched by the artist you admire….

Instead of maintaining your dignity…you make peace with a twerk.

Watch how that goes down before I share my thought piece.

When I watched the footage obtained by TMZ, so many thoughts gathered.

I’ve also heard mixed reaction, including those who say that it was the woman’s fault for what happened. Yes…she could have had a weapon of some sort and Jackson had a right to keep himself unharmed…yada yada yada.

Let’s be clear….we all know she’s wrong for trying to pull the man off stage. Although Jackson appeared to have thrown the punch to free himself from her grasp, he was still wrong for it. If you have 10 bodyguards on stage protecting you, why the hell do you feel comfortable enough to use your fist on a woman half your size?

Anyway….

This piece isn’t about Jackson throwing the punch….
this piece isn’t even about the woman pulling him off stage which she shouldn’t have done…

What has my blood boiling is the fact that this woman publicly shamed herself, influenced by her admiration for this artist. As soon as Jackson threw that punch, he smelt a lawsuit and that’s why he quickly called her on stage.

I can hear the inside convo….

50: “Lemme see what you workin’ wit’, Shawty…do your thing.”
fan: “‘Aight…”

This is what happens when celebrity worship and the objectification of women collides.

It was obvious that the woman didn’t care that she was just jabbed with a grown man fist to the chest…a place where her beating heart resides!

Dude used her admiration for him with requesting a twerk, and she didn’t mind at all. Sore chest and all, homegirl twerked like cash  raining on her…because 50 Cent, her boo….let her.

There’s a problem when we allow ourselves to be degraded….especially in public for the country to see. We’re spreading the message that it’s okay, or even normal, to accept misogyny into our space.

That incident was a clear example of the admirer being intimidated by a person with fame and mental power so much that she didn’t want to react other than twerking for her favorite rapper.

There ain’t that much admiration in the world.

I wonder what went through her mind when she felt that blow…
I wonder how she REALLY felt when she was requested on stage…

Something tells me that Jackson succeeded in avoiding a lawsuit. Homegirl was on that stage going through a moment of male privilege, celebrity worship, and sexual objectification. Twerking for a man after he punches you in the chest kinda solidifies that notion, and sadly, she probably didn’t think it was a big deal.

I’m convinced she went home that night and bragged how she got to be on stage with her boo.

Let’s talk about this Pepsi ad Ft. Kendall Jenner (now pulled after negative reaction) because the folks who conceptualized this tone-death visual fuckery had no idea it would make people upset…and rightfully so.

Before I go in, press play below

 

So, here we have a Kardashian who “brings people together” by ending a protest with a beverage……..

This has to be the lowest of the low for any marketing team trying to sell a product. The Pepsi brand should be ashamed for mocking the movement and using that girl to do it. Sooo, no one in the marketing department mentioned that the ad was a bad idea???

I don’t blame Kendall. She obviously saw dollar signs when she signed that contract and didn’t think twice about how the ad would affect people. You can’t expect someone in their early twenties and haven’t experienced much life to understand.

Pepsi basically undermined the works and dedication of Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and the seriousness of the Civil Rights Movement and Black Lives Matter in under two minutes. We’ve heard the term, “don’t shoot the messenger.” Well, poor Kendall was the messenger who was caught in the crossfire.

 

Now, let’s talk about how Bernice King, daughter of Martin, GATHERED Pepsi with just one tweet….

 

 

Nothing about this ad was cute and for Pepsi to trivialize the protests of police brutality, killings, and racism for a product sale shows how disingenuous the brand truly is of the movement.

Kendrick Lamar recently released new music that we’ve been anticipating. But, like most of Kendrick’s material, his new single, “Humble”, comes with some controversy and THIS TIME, I’m really not sure why.

Read the lyrics below from the 2nd verse

“I’m so fucking sick and tired of the Photoshop/Show me something natural like afro on Richard Pryor/Show me something natural like ass with some stretch marks.”

 

Before I share my discombobulation over the outrage of some of the women, hit play below to the visual to K-dot’s “Humble”.

 

I’ve played this over and over again to feel the outrage that’s been sparked by some of my sistahs and to be honest…I’m still perplexed. In fact, the more I listen, the more I dig it.

I’ve been following the outrage of some of the women on social media…particularly Twitter and I’ve read some valid points about misogyny in Hip Hop. That’s a general observation I’ve had for years as a hip hop fan. However, I don’t see the need to knock the brotha for simply expressing in his art that he doesn’t mind flaws and that’s EXACTLY what he’s doing.

In my humble opinion, I feel like some of you folks need to project your anger over the objectification of black women at those who truly deserve it. How about this beauty expert? –>read here

I’ve been reading and hearing that Kendrick is “problematic” and “expressed his own sexual desires”. I’ve also read and heard that the word “bitch” was used numerous times in the video which also sends the wrong message.

One…you have to understand hip hop and have listened to it long enough to know that his usage of the B word was not intended for his female listeners. In fact, if you’ve been following Kendrick since “Control”, you’d realize “Humble” is a diss track.

Two…This artist expressed love for natural beauty, yet all some of you hear are a certain group of women being empowered while another group is being “shamed”.

Nowhere in this single is this artist expressing disdain for any group of women. None of his lyrics display disrespect to those who have had plastic surgery. I fail to hear where he’s said anything negative towards women who wears weaves and/or has had plastic surgery through this single. Saying he wants to see a natural ass with stretch marks is not him expressing that we SHOULD be one way or another.  I take that as an expression of overlooking flaws and seeing beauty that’s natural….and natural, in itself, is beauty.

The man even expressed he’s sick and tired of Photoshop images, but y’all wanna be mad about that, too! If he would have said we should post Photoshopped images and images with layers of filters to alter our natural appearance, then y’all would really have something to be outraged about!

Please stop

If you’re a fan of Kendrick Lamar, then you’d know he tells a story and expresses his thoughts and feelings through his art.  If you’ve listened to two of his biggest albums, then you’ve listened to his struggles with negative thoughts, feelings on black on black crime, self-love, love of black people and being black. With his art, he could easily continue to evolve as a lyricist, especially if he continues to praise the natural beauty of a black woman as he has in “Humble”. That’s big for any hip hop artist to do because we (natural women) aren’t celebrated properly as much as we should be.

This faux outrage is draining and unnecessary, to say the least. Y’all wanna be mad at someone? Direct your anger towards Bill O’Reilly for trying to come for Maxine Waters!

 

 

 

 

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