When I ask if you’re exceptional or basic, it has nothing to do with how you live, how much money you have, or what brand labels are in your closet, but it has everything to do with how the man in your life views you.

How a man views you is how he’ll treat you and it’s up to you, a woman who yearns for respect and honesty in a relationship, to make sure he treats you like you deserve. It starts with growing enough balls to express what you won’t allow and what you desire. However, some of us tend to forget the importance of that and allow our passive aggressiveness to weaken our ability to demand what we want and/or need in a relationship. That’s what basic women do. I can tell you from experiences from women I know and from my own experiences that a lot of men LOVE some basic women!

Why? He knows that under all of that fake tough and demanding exterior, is a woman ready to fall in love. Basic women want to be in a relationship so badly, any amount of attention from him makes her feel like what they have is worth her holding onto, even if he shows signs of being messy. He knows that if he shows signs of being messy, his basic woman will fake the funk and pretend to leave if he doesn’t shape up. When that man starts to put one foot out the door, his basic woman will suddenly have a change of heart, out of fear of losing him to another woman or being alone. A few weeks or a few months have gone by and at this point, you’re frustrated because it feels like you’re investing a lot more into the relationship than he is. In some cases, this has happened more than once in a relationship that’s at least four months old. I guarantee you that 85% of y’all reading this have experienced a relationship like this, currently in a relationship like this, or know someone who is.

Truth be told, the men in these type of relationships are just as basic, because only an exceptional man will not take his woman for granted. It’s been said that we are who we attract…basic dudes attract basic women because they can get away with shit while playing with their basic women’s hearts.

The good thing is…It doesn’t have to be that way.

A woman goes from ‘basic’ to ‘exceptional’ when she learns to “toughen up” and not let the idea of being alone frighten her. An exceptional woman is honest with herself, as well as with him, about what she’s worthy of and she won’t feel bad for expressing that. Only a basic dude will try to make her feel that way for selfish reasons. An exceptional woman respects herself and demands respect from her partner. If he can’t meet those demands, that exceptional woman will have no problem cutting him off like a price tag on a new blouse!

Exceptional women will not chase. If he decides to leave, let him. Leaving already proves that he can’t love you like you deserve.

Between the delusion of thinking a man can be changed, the extreme thirst for wanting genuine love, and some ‘sunshine’ vagina, it could be difficult for a woman to change her basic ways. In order for her to become exceptional, she has to accept the fact that a man cannot be changed and it’s possible that her vagina may not be the best he’s ever had. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting genuine romantic love, but there are more proper ways to go about receiving it and that’s to NOT look for it in a guy who isn’t even your boyfriend. Stop looking for love PERIOD.

Focus on being exceptional. Only then, will the man who’ll truly love you will find you…and that’s when you’ll least expect it.

It’s not rocket science…

However, a lot of us still struggle with figuring out which “ship” we’re in. The funny thing is that it’s quite easy to distinguish the two when we’re not involved with anyone. When we are involved, we find ourselves wondering, assuming and become uncertain, as a result. Being in a situationship feels like a relationship…except it isn’t. Any time you find yourself struggling to choose the right words to describe your status…you’re in a situationship.

There are other signs that’ll easily show you if you open your eyes and ears.

 

Relationship

The both of you are making plans to invest in a future together.

Sex is not the focus/center of your relationship

You’ve both made the decision to practice monogamy

You both want a relationship and you both made it known to each other

You both make a conscious effort to meet each other’s needs.

He wants to build something genuine with you, as you do with him.

He publicly acknowledges you as his girlfriend/woman/lady/future wifey, etc.  When someone invests in you emotionally, they have no problem letting their family and closest circle of friends know who you are and how much you mean to them.

 

Situationship

 

He avoids talking about the future

He will remind you as much as possible that you two are “just friends”.

Time with you is limited

Sex is a priority in your relationship

He is dating others and even suggests you should date others, too.

His family and friends have never met you

Most of your communication is via text

The best way to describe you two is that you’re “involved”, ” talking”, or “figuring things out, but y’all are together”.

Through his actions, he’s showing you that you aren’t good enough for a commitment, and the sad part is you’d rather wait around for him to verbally express when you finally are.

 

 

Because there’s no commitment, you best believe you’re not the only one he’s “talking to”, whether he’s the commitment type or not. Anyone who isn’t ready to commit is really careful not to give someone they’re just sexin’ a title.

Why? because he doesn’t want to put himself in a situation where it’ll be hard for him to get out of. As you both got to know each other, he’s realized he purchased your heart from the clearance table. That’s why he’s still window shopping for other hearts in the glass case. When men see you as an option, that’s how they’ll treat you in case they meet someone who intrigues them more. You’re in a situationship because your “hope factor” won’t allow you to demand exclusivity. Your “hope factor” has made you soft. You know you want a relationship, but you won’t express that for fear of losing him altogether. That’s an issue people in RELATIONSHIPS won’t ever have to deal. Don’t let your desire to be in a relationship make you settle for the minimally basic shit he chooses to do for you. That basic shit that you accept may never get upgraded.

 

 

I think I can vouch for all women reading this when I say when we get something so good, we lose the good sense that we have when we try to hold on to it! Especially when it comes to penis.

I’m not just talking about that “good for the moment”, “can do without”, mediocre type of penis. The kind of penis I’m describing is the kind that unravels all five of your senses during intercourse. The kind of penis I’m talking about makes us do or say things we wouldn’t normally do. The kind of penis I’m talking about is the kind that our bodies yearn for…like an addict taking one last good hit before detox. Unfortunately, our bodies are sometimes responsible for our toxic behavior, because we choose to satisfy our physical needs before our emotional needs. When that penis is attached to a toxic guy, the emotional damages we cause ourselves as women can have long-lasting effects.

Our bodies is in a constant battle with our minds. We know good and gotdamn well we need to leave that toxic guy alone, but we can’t. We can’t because we choose not to.

Your body reminds you with the question…who’s going to make love to you the way that he does?

Your mind replies with….but you deserve to be treated so much better.

Your body responds with….He makes me feel better when I’m with him. He makes me feel whole.

Your mind replies with….but you don’t need a man to make you feel whole or complete.

 

We don’t often recognize our subconscious fear of being single. As a result, we use the back-breaking sex as the reason for holding onto an unhealthy relationship. A woman with this kind of struggle between her body and her mind is what we like to call “dickmitized”.

Babygirl is hypnotized by the dick and she doesn’t want to lose it for all the wrong reasons. Most importantly, she doesn’t want to lose that “good good” to another woman. It’s that inevitable circumstance that leaves a woman in emotional shambles.

Why?

She’s lost herself.

In her gullible mind, a man who fucks her that good MUST be in love with her.

She’s convinced herself that she could help him change his messy ways.

She’s devaluing her worth every time he enters her, knowing he’s gonna be messy the next day.

 

One good stroke will make an intelligent woman dumb down for love. She’s oblivious to the fact that sex is giving her a false sense of security and a false sense of belonging.

 

Truth be told…sex should never be the reason why a woman would accept disrespectful behavior from a man who is supposed to love her. Besides, a man won’t change his messy ways if he thinks he’s being clean. One thing’s for certain, two things for sure…he knows he’s clever. Clever enough to keep screwing your insides out during “make up” sex, because he knows you aren’t going anywhere.

The sad part about all of this is a lot of us use love as an excuse.

Love has nothing to do with your apparent dickmitization. Your actions scream WEAK. Dude smells your weakness miles away and that’s why he does what he do.

 

I need my ladies who are being dickmitized to stop dumbing themselves down for men who obviously low-key care about you. Stop equating sex with love and realize that a grown man shouldn’t have to be reminded daily to act right. We let our bodies control us so much,  that we don’t realize how much we’re willing to tolerate because we don’t want to be alone.

Please understand that dude is not the only fish in the sea.

Please understand that the more special you think you are, the more basic you become.

Get off the dick, find your self-esteem, and wait on the true love that you deserve.

 

 

 

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