When we’re getting over a break-up, we usually consider it one of the worst things that could happen. Getting over someone who you’ve invested your time and heart in is like getting over the death of a loved one. The bad thing is you’re no longer a couple, which you believed you guys would be forever.

Two good things about the break-up?

Death is not involved, so you can still curse them out until your heart’s content…and the doozy…..it could be the catalyst for change that your spirit need. We don’t often pay attention to the good that can come out of a break-up and one of those goods is the chance for self-preparation. Self-preparation requires awareness, creating space for opportunities, emotional and spiritual growth, and acknowledging what your ex has subconsciously taught you.

Your ex has actually taught you many things, including what you deserve and what you’re worthy of. If you are the one that has caused the break-up, consider that you’ve made mistakes and you could learn to not repeat them in your next relationship. We’re all human, so we will fuck up. What matters is that we acknowledge them, make peace with them, learn from them, and move on. Not only have you been given the chance to be freed from a person who was obviously not right for you, but you’ll discover more about yourself that you may not have discovered if you were still with that person. Consider your break-up a blessing in disguise!

Your ex has prepared you for your next, meaning you have gone through the worst in your past relationship to end up with the best relationship you’ll ever have. Your break-up gives you the opportunity to grow, figure out what you really want and heighten the confidence and self-love that you’ve lost while in your toxic relationship. As a result, you become your own lesson’s project when you meet your future mate. Your break-up also gives you the opportunity to create a space for one who deserves to occupy it. That person will instill the lessons that you’ve shared and utilize them for the sake of a healthier relationship.

We all go through trials and errors in life and a break-up is no exception. However, remember that a break-up doesn’t have to break you down. Take the good out of it, learn from it, utilize the time as a single person for your benefit, and when the time comes when you’re ready for your next relationship, you’ll have even more to offer than before.

Brandy was a recent guest host on The Real Daytime talk show and opened up about why she prefers to stay single during a chat on the topic of marriage. After a faux marriage to her daughter’s father that went south and a failed engagement, the 36-year-old mother and star of her new B.E.T show Zoe Ever After, says…she’s good!

 

Brandy: I don’t [want marriage]. I don’t want to go down that road.

Jeannie: You know you don’t want to [get married]?

Brandy: I know I don’t want to. Yes.

Loni: People don’t want to believe it. They’re like, “No, you want love.” And I’m like, “I didn’t say I don’t want love. I didn’t say I didn’t want companionship. I just said I don’t want to get married.”

Brandy: Yeah, I’m good. I like self-love a little bit better right now.

“I’m so satisfied being by myself. I love it. I’ve never taken this much time on myself. I don’t date. I haven’t been on a date in like a year. I don’t know. I just like me right now. I just like the way it feels being by myself and taking care of my daughter and just doing my thing. I’m all about my career right now.”

Watch the video below

 

 

I think it’s a great when you’re aware of yourself and live your truth. Brandy is a prime example of how NOT to live by society’s standards and be happy with life, as is. She appears to be at peace with her decision to not ever marry and she definitely shouldn’t feel bad about it.

 

My thoughts:

I’ve always said that the societal pressures to be married can be brutal for those of us women who were conditioned to believe we have to be married by a certain age. In my humble opinion, that contributes to a lot of failed relationships. Marriage is a big step and although the idea of marriage is wonderful, we have to remember that staying in a marriage is hard work. Married couples that I know can tell you that it’s not all peaches and cream.

Another thing to consider is to marry when YOU BOTH are ready. Not because everyone says you should or feel it’s the right thing to do.

Like Brandy, a lot of women doesn’t want to get married at all…and that’s okay!

Why? because like men…we have the right to that option. There’s nothing on this earth that mandates a marital requirement for women, but somehow, women who choose not to get married are looked at as if there should be.

Women learn to love themselves better when they’re single.Perhaps, a woman is taking the time to get to know herself, learn herself, and love herself before jumping the broom. Perhaps, a woman doesn’t want to be obligated to a man and is totally fine with being single. Either way, a woman who doesn’t want to get married is a smart woman who chooses to live at peace by her own choice…and not the choice of those around her.

Besides…it’s better to be alone and single than to be alone in a marriage. think about it!

As a single person, I dread two questions that I’m asked on occasion…
“Why aren’t I married, yet?
Or
“Why am I still single?”

I’d like to know why society thinks they can determine what’s right or wrong about my life.
Apparently, being single is something I’m NOT supposed to be, but If you REALLY want to know why I’m single…it’s simply not my time, yet.
Folks use the word “single” with a negative connotation to it, when it really is just a way of life. It’s also the way to be for some of us, who are accustomed to making bad choices in romantic partners. Singlehood gives us the ability to discover what we really want in a relationship, what we deserve, what we don’t deserve, and what we’re worthy of. Singlehood gives us the freedom to be who we are, accept who we are, and set boundaries. Being single gives us the time we need to clear our minds and heal our hearts.
“Single” is not a disease we catch on the street!
The stereotype of single women disturbs me. Society’s perception of a single woman is that we’re either promiscuous or crazy. There’s definitely a double standard there because the single guys are rarely perceived that way.
Being single does not mean that I cannot find a man, it simply means that I care more about my well-being. Being single gives me the opportunity to invest in myself, so when I do get into a relationship, I’m emotionally and mentally responsible enough to be in one. Being single gives us the freedom to empower ourselves as an individual. Lastly, being single doesn’t mean we don’t know HOW to love, but we care enough about ourselves to wait for it. That’s when God will send that special person our way.