This statement has been debatable since Facebook’s debut in 2004. While I do think your business is your business, I think that statement is  false and here are my reasons why.

There’s a thin line between being private and being secret. While, I understand the need for privacy, it’s difficult for me to believe that NO sign of a relationship on Facebook means that it’s healthy. I agree…but to a point. If your relationship is healthy then showing signs of it on Facebook wouldn’t even be an issue.


Because both individuals would be faithful and secure, so showing signs on Facebook or any social media site would never be a problem for either of them.

If you feel like you have to be completely discreet about your relationship, then there’s a reason behind that and that has nothing to do with being private. If you’ve been dating a person for more than six months, talks about taking your relationship to the next level have already happened (or at least there should have been). I’m pretty sure there was some agreement made at one point by one convincing the other to practice discretion. At that point, you both were unaware that practicing discretion with the relationship will eventually cause more stress in the relationship than helping it.

The idea for anyone to be discreet to the point where they don’t want to show any signs of it on social media is the solution for someone leaving room for themselves to perpetuate their single status for others. Most women will fall with the discretion logic because they don’t want to debate something for fear of showing their insecurities. The unfortunate part about that is that at some point, babygirl will be battling with her self-control.

It could get tempting to post your mate on Facebook, but if your mate hasn’t done it, then you are forced to “hold out”, and that could get frustrating for you.

When it all comes down to it, Facebook or ANY of the social media platforms is never the cause for relationship failures. Those who seek discretion will brainwash their mates with that logic. If anything, it just brings to light what someone has been doing all along.


When we fall in love, we ‘ll want to scream it from the mountaintop and let the whole world know. Unfortunately, we live in a world where outside influences can either help or hinder people in healthy new relationships. For a lot of couples starting out, maintaining a low-key relationship is necessary. I wonder how helpful it could be for couples who spend more time hiding their relationship, rather than foster it?

It depends…

Keeping a relationship private is one thing

Keeping a relationship a secret is another

Some couples have a hard time balancing the practice of both and the rest lean more on one side than the other, which could cause a huge conflict for both involved. A lot of couples use social media and follow each other on it. Those couples have to practice discretion, which is challenging because that requires a lot of self-control, particularly for the woman.

Reasons why couples keep their relationship private:

a)As stated earlier, outside influences such as temptation will keep the new relationship strong. It’s a known fact that people will try to come for your woman/man when they find out you’re in a relationship. Sad, but true. Those are who you call opportunists. They see a happy couple in love and they want that, too.

b)If you break up, you won’t be as embarrassed or humiliated if everyone knew.

c) Only a few close relatives and close friends will know about the relationship. the less people that know, the better it’ll be for you both.

All of the aforementioned are logical and understandable reasons to keep a relationship private. However, there’s usually one of the two who works doubly hard to keep the relationship a “secret”. The other is oblivious to it until he/she realizes one thing that separates the two; The actions of the person screams single.

I’ll give you one scenario

Scenario: You are online and see an image posted of your significant other partying hard with a couple of friends of the opposite sex. This could cause frustration and disappointment for two reasons; 1) he/she isn’t concerned about how you’ll feel once you see the image. 2) It’s possible that the friends don’t know about you. Hence, the reason you weren’t at the party with them. Your significant other never mentioned a party to you.

Let’s face it, someone keeping a relationship a secret is most likely less committed to his/her partner. Couples in both private and secret relationships can develop stress from trying to maintain discretion, which could eventually hurt the relationship. One would have to closely examine the other to see which the relationship truly fall under. Either way, doing more to maintain discretion will eventually build doubt about being in love. Is the love you both share strong enough to make the relationship public?

That’s the golden question