When we’re getting over a break-up, we usually consider it one of the worst things that could happen. Getting over someone who you’ve invested your time and heart in is like getting over the death of a loved one. The bad thing is you’re no longer a couple, which you believed you guys would be forever.

Two good things about the break-up?

Death is not involved, so you can still curse them out until your heart’s content…and the doozy…..it could be the catalyst for change that your spirit need. We don’t often pay attention to the good that can come out of a break-up and one of those goods is the chance for self-preparation. Self-preparation requires awareness, creating space for opportunities, emotional and spiritual growth, and acknowledging what your ex has subconsciously taught you.

Your ex has actually taught you many things, including what you deserve and what you’re worthy of. If you are the one that has caused the break-up, consider that you’ve made mistakes and you could learn to not repeat them in your next relationship. We’re all human, so we will fuck up. What matters is that we acknowledge them, make peace with them, learn from them, and move on. Not only have you been given the chance to be freed from a person who was obviously not right for you, but you’ll discover more about yourself that you may not have discovered if you were still with that person. Consider your break-up a blessing in disguise!

Your ex has prepared you for your next, meaning you have gone through the worst in your past relationship to end up with the best relationship you’ll ever have. Your break-up gives you the opportunity to grow, figure out what you really want and heighten the confidence and self-love that you’ve lost while in your toxic relationship. As a result, you become your own lesson’s project when you meet your future mate. Your break-up also gives you the opportunity to create a space for one who deserves to occupy it. That person will instill the lessons that you’ve shared and utilize them for the sake of a healthier relationship.

We all go through trials and errors in life and a break-up is no exception. However, remember that a break-up doesn’t have to break you down. Take the good out of it, learn from it, utilize the time as a single person for your benefit, and when the time comes when you’re ready for your next relationship, you’ll have even more to offer than before.

I don’t think so…When it comes to dating and getting to know someone, how much should you reveal? I feel like the only way you can feel like you are saying too much is if you are attracted to that person and you see that person as a potential partner.  So you start putting all your eggs in one basket.

You have men and women that goes on a date and are so focused on thinking that this person is THE ONE. What they are saying is directed towards the person they’ve just met. Instead of just enjoying the date and having fun, they are already planning ahead to be at the altar.

I have met men, whether they took me out or not, as soon as I say something that they want in a woman. They are literally ready to propose to me and its only been a couple of minutes. These men (and even these women) move so fast and they have no qualms about it either. They feel like there are no better options out there and feel they don’t want to waste their time. I’ve heard time and time again, wait to reveal this and that side of you after you get to know him.

But whose time frame is that?? Everyone is different. So pretty much this sounds like “don’t show him/her who you really are until after a few months”. Don’t be yourself… Then who should you show them then?? A representative?? This approach and this time frame doesn’t work for me at all. With me, what you see is what you get.

If I’m having a casual conversation, I shouldn’t have to feel that I should hold back about things that I am passionate about or love doing for fear of how it may be received. Why does having a casual conversation about life have to be taken so seriously. It’s just a conversation. A person can want all they want. Doesn’t mean that I’m the right person for them.

Just because I mention something I love to do like cooking… doesn’t mean that I have to do it for the person that I’m on a date with. Men seem to want a woman who cooks and is very domesticated. I want the same thing, but as much as I love to cook, I’m not going to be in the kitchen 365 days of the year cooking for you nor am I a maid. I believe both parties should contribute when it comes to cooking and chores. But these men feel that’s what a woman is for.

When someone mentions to me what they love to do, I’m not looking at that person trying to figure out how my life could be better since they do this and that. I’m not an opportunist. Just because someone has qualities that you like, doesn’t mean that they will make a great partner. People have things in common all the time. It doesn’t mean that you are compatible.

How many times do we get upset when we find out the person we were seeing was not who we thought they were? Then we say, they should have just been themselves and been honest in the beginning but they weren’t. When it comes to dating, it really all depends on your approach. You should focus on having a great time and becoming friends if you feel there is a connection.

When it comes to relationships, some people are really just looking to get some type of want and need fulfilled. Some people don’t care if they are compatible with someone else or not. They are just like “do this and that for me” and “give me this and that”. Relationships like this are doomed for hell from the start.

When it comes to dating, just be yourself and if your qualities and the other person’s qualities match and there’s compatibility and chemistry, it just might work. But there need to be common goals in mind and there need to be a plan. Be patient and what you want will come to you.

I admire you guys.
Most of you have the ability to be honest from the beginning when it comes to matters of the heart. When you guys say you aren’t ready to be in a relationship, y’all really mean it!

However, we as women go through that “hope factor”, thinking our loyalty and proving our worth will make you guys change your minds. Instead of just accepting you to be emotionally unavailable, some of us women are planning our wedding in our heads.
The problem fester with communication mishaps. Men communicate mostly through their actions, which can frustrate us women because we choose to communicate the conventional way…with words. Women will always feel like they’re building something with their partner when their partner is actually putting an effort to keep them happy; quality time, affection, a generous amount of attention, and doing relationship-type things. He’s basically putting in as much effort as you’re doing for him. However, he never verbally expressed to wanting to be committed. That leaves the woman completely baffled, leaving her to wonder if she’s “done enough”.

There are a few reasons why men choose not to be committed. It’s not always about another woman. Perhaps, they don’t feel like they’re in a place where they can give their all in a relationship. Maybe their focus is on their career and making money. For some reason, financial stability is the primary reason for why most men choose to remain single. I get that and I believe most women would understand that, as well. The crazy part about all of this is that the woman is possibly not in a stable place in her life, as well. However, she’s willing to make sacrifices and compromise while she works on her goals. That leaves her to question why her partner cannot do the same.
We all date for different reasons, but there are two main reasons that separates any two people no matter what sex they are; date with hopes for marriage and date just for the hell of it.

I’ve learned that men are simple creatures who prefers to live without the complexities of a committed relationship. They can date without the intentions of settling down because unlike women, they don’t plan prematurely. Men are not focused on finding a wife when they meet a woman. As women, we are naturally impatient when it comes to matters of the heart. Our impatience could do more harm than good. Impatience leads to dismissing the fact that he’s already expressed his need to not be committed. Even though, there’s that small doubt in the back of our minds, there’s always something deeper that pulls us into believing that we are on the same page.
We women take it so personal when we become rejected but in the men’s defense, it’s really not about us at all. It has more to do with where he’s at in his life.
Overall, men try to avoid these conflicting matters of the heart by expressing they’re not ready to be in a relationship, but we choose not to listen. We could learn to be like them in that department. Don’t get me wrong, there are some shady gentlemen who intentionally string women along (and vice versa-there’s some shady women too), but for the most part, it’s us as women who have to be responsible for our hearts. We’re so blinded by their actions, we’re not seeing things for what it really is. As far as the honest guys, we really need to consider listening to them. Even learning to be like them. If we know that we’re not in a good place in our lives, we should focus on getting ourselves right before we jump into a relationship. We want to be in love so BAD, we’ll accept anything that feels remotely close to being in a relationship so we can feel loved. Let’s do ourselves a huge favor and “think like a man” when it comes to making sure it’s the right time to be committed. If it’s meant to be for you to be with your partner forever, it will be. Only time will tell. Time is important and patience is a virtue.