Picture this…

You run into an old friend.

You both give updates on what’s happening in your lives since the last time you both saw each other and your friend appears to be doing great. She got married three years ago and has a lucrative career that keeps her busy. She takes a vacation every other month because she can afford it. Her tall slender frame is the result of working out six days a week. Nothing but Mac Cosmetics accentuates her features and she has so many outfits, you’ll only catch her in one at least twice a year.

By the time you both exchange numbers, you decide that you already hate her.


…because she’s married and you’re still wondering if the dude you’re feeling will treat you to dinner and a movie. She has her lucrative and exciting career, and you’re living paycheck to paycheck. As a single mother, you can’t afford to go on vacations and you’re lucky to be able to afford a bus ride to Philly. You work too hard during the day to make it to anyone’s gym, and your make-up kit stays stocked with drug store brands.

After a cpl of weeks, you reluctantly give her a call. Reluctantly, because your imagination of the phone conversation is dreadfully listening to how fabulous her life is while you wallow in self-pity. She answers hello with a cracked voice as if she’s been crying. You immediately pick up on it and asks if she’s okay. She explains why she’s been feeling down. You ask why because she appears to “have it all”. In your eyes, she should be on Cloud 9.

She tells you that it’s hard to stay on Cloud 9 when she’s so busy at work, she barely has time for herself. She takes vacations every month to get away from her emotionally and physically abusive husband. She forces herself to work out and makes herself throw up to keep her husband satisfied. She doesn’t like make-up but wears it to hide her extremely blemished skin. She wears her outfit no more than twice a year because she doesn’t like wearing what her husband picks out. She believes not being able to have children is why her husband mistreats her.

Moral of the story is….

The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Having thick skin is necessary in a world full of people who goes by the theory “misery loves company”. I have to stay mindful that people love differently than I do and not everyone has my kind of heart.

Not everyone will support what you do. Not everyone wants to see you happy, especially when their own lives are in shambles…and that’s okay. The only thing we can do is accept it, make peace with it, and move on. It may be hard, considering some people will go as far as sabotage your positive energy by doing or saying all they can to “push your buttons”.


Because they are not experiencing the internal and external success you are owning in your life. You both started from the bottom, but you’re at the top by yourself. Meanwhile, they’re still struggling to climb the first step. These miserable people don’t understand that your success is their success. When you win, they win. When your energy is good, it is strong enough to carry over into the people in your circle. The people who truly care about you will embrace your energy and use it to motivate theirselves to do better.

Then there are the rest…

These people will use your good energy and deplete it with pointless jealousy; Their actions prove that you’re not liked by them and you find yourself wondering what in the world you’ve done to deserve the mistreatment.

We can be more concerned than we need to be whether or not we are liked and naturally so. It’s that “People pleasing syndrome” that all of us carry at some point in our lives.  The reality is…some people will not like us, because of the energy we display.  Caring what others think about you will deplete your good energy, making you susceptible to leveling yourself down for their comfort level.

So, this person and that person don’t like you…so what?

Don’t let that stifle your growth and harden your heart. Everyone in the world is not meant to be in tune with your energy. Make peace with that and keep living your life.

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