Some of us may not be where we want to be in life, but we are a lot better off than where we were in the past. Even if it feels like the complete opposite, we have to realize that every day we’re given an opportunity to make changes for a better life.

Every thought, every action, and every reaction starts with us and ends with us. We can always blame everyone else for what’s not going ¬†right but what good will that do? Ultimately, everything that’s happening in our lives are based off our decision-making. We are responsible for what’s happening and what’s not happening.

So what do we do to make the necessary changes?

Decide if we’ve had enough.

If we’re seeking new results, we have to do things differently.

Stop placing blame on others.

Understand that it’s okay to fail. It’s getting back up and not quitting that matters.

Keep going, even if you fumble along the way.

Focus on what you want to accomplish.

Slow down and just enjoy the now

Stay true to who you are.

Know that pain and failure are your greatest teachers.

 

These are sure-fire ways to help make the best of our lives. As long as we view what’s happening with an optimistic mindset, we can live the life we deserve. No one is stopping us but us.

Ae you ready to make changes?

LET’S GO! ūüôā

 

 

Picture this…

You run into an old friend.

You both give updates on what’s happening in your lives since the last time you both saw each other and your friend appears to be doing great. She got married three years ago and has a lucrative career that keeps her busy. She takes a vacation every other month¬†because she can afford it. Her tall slender frame is the result of working out six days a week. Nothing but Mac Cosmetics accentuates her features and she has so many outfits, you’ll only catch her in one at least twice a year.

By the time you both exchange numbers, you decide that you already hate her.

Why?

…because she’s married and you’re still wondering if the dude you’re feeling will treat you to dinner and a movie. She has her lucrative and exciting career, and you’re living paycheck to paycheck. As a single mother, you can’t afford to go on vacations and you’re lucky to be able to afford a bus ride to Philly. You work too hard during the day to make it to anyone’s gym, and your make-up kit stays stocked with drug store brands.

After a cpl of weeks, you reluctantly give her a call. Reluctantly, because your imagination of the phone conversation is dreadfully listening to how fabulous her life is while you wallow in self-pity. She answers hello with a cracked voice as if she’s been crying. You immediately pick up on it and asks if she’s okay. She explains why she’s been feeling down. You ask why because she appears to “have it all”. In your eyes, she should be on Cloud 9.

She tells you that it’s hard to stay on Cloud 9 when she’s so busy at work, she barely has time for herself. She takes vacations every month to get away from her emotionally and physically abusive husband. She forces herself to work out and makes herself throw up to keep her husband satisfied. She doesn’t like make-up¬†but wears it to hide her extremely blemished skin. She wears her outfit no more than twice a year¬†because she doesn’t like wearing what her husband picks out. She believes not being able to have children is why her husband mistreats her.

Moral of the story is….

The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Feeling stuck is a state of mind.

Of course, we don’t think that when we’re frustrated with working an unfulfilled job…helping to build someone else’s dream, instead of ours.

After a few years, I’m finally in a position where I can legitimately say I’m a business owner. The problem is creating enough time to build my brand from it. The time I need to work on my business…my brand…my purpose…my destiny is sometimes hard to invest in. As a result, I feel guilty and even disappointed in myself, because it feels like I’m not trying hard enough.

I’ve been thinking, reading, and researching ways to reverse this negative feeling that I have about not being able to get my entrepreneurial spirit lifted. In doing so, I know it’ll help my creative juices flow because it’s happened before.

I’ve realized that it’s all in how we view ourselves and what we KNOW we’re capable of.

I know I’m a go-getter.

I know that I have what it takes to be successful

I know that I’m capable of what I can do with the knowledge that I have.

 

It’s all about time, patience, and not quitting…even when you feel you should

 

 

I’ve persevered through a lot of challenges that could have prevented me from becoming an entrepreneur…but I was determined¬†to make something out of myself. When I started my book publishing company, I knew it could be something I could give my son and daughter one day. Part of my destiny is leaving my children behind with something precious; something I’ve created not only for me but for them….like a dynasty!

When I started blogging via the LN platform and my online magazine The YOUnique Mag, I created a long-lasting brand that I will forever be memorized for. My work online will be here forever, even after I’m long gone…as long as the internet still exists.

As a mom, raising two kids and trying to fulfill a personal and a professional goal is not easy. Sometimes, my entrepreneurial spirit is at war with my reality. However, I know that if I set aside time…It will even everything out.

The best ways to live out your destiny so you won’t feel stuck are:

Create time- Give yourself time to develop, plan, and execute.

Know that you will get where you need to be- The goals you foresee is the goals you will meet…with time and patience. Continue to have faith.

Don’t rush success¬†Great things takes time¬†to manifest

Use all the gifts you possess God gave you those gifts to share with the world. Don’t be afraid to use them all.

Keep going, even after you stumble~¬†I’ve fallen so many times, but I choose not to just sit there & cry over scratched up knees. Push through your most toughest challenges, even when you don’t feel like it. Your future self will thank you later for it.

 

 

 

 

When we step out of our box (our comfort zone), we take ¬†risks. It’s always worth taking a risk¬†because we use our courage to try something different; something out of the ordinary and things that will make us uncomfortable. They say if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not being challenged. When we get tired of seeing the same results, we have to challenge ourselves to see better results. I get it!

Of course, stepping out the box is not easy for us. Thinking about transitioning into the unknown brings that inevitable fear of uncertainty. We like to be certain about things and we like being comfy. Our little box is cozy with all the comfort of our little fuzzy thoughts and how we navigate through life. Complacency could be masked with the feeling of contentment. We train ourselves into thinking that what we have to offer the world is not enough, or vice versa.

We have to recognize our greatest sources of ¬†power and that is our courage and our willingness. ¬†We have the ability to act and be proactive, especially in the face of obstacles and fear. That fear makes us extremely uncomfortable, but that courage we have is¬†undeniable. We’ll just have to dig deep within ourselves to pull it out. We’ll never know what that fearful experience will bring us; success, love, or an opportunity that’s been knocking on our door for years. Only then will our spirit become renewed. As a result, we’ve been given a new opportunity that will add value to our lives.

All it takes is a change of heart and a change in how we think of ourselves. We have to trust ourselves to do better if we want better. Our comfort zone is a beautiful place. However, instead of trying to expand the zone, stepping out that box completely is more beneficial. Sometimes, the box is not strong enough to hold all the desires of our heart.

Do something out of the ordinary today that your future self will thank you for.

This isn’t about being super cocky or downright conceited. In fact, being your own cheerleader has absolutely nothing to do with vanity, but everything to do with elevating your confidence and self-esteem. We all need a little encouragement whenever we feel doubtful. It’s when that inevitable fear of failure creeps in is when we need to push ourselves the most.

Not everyone can cheer as loud as you can, so why not rely on yourself¬†to get motivated? You know how capable you are. You know your strengths, your weaknesses, and your drive. Although, it doesn’t hurt to surround yourself with like-minded people who could help push you to achievement, but knowing that you can beat the odds can without a doubt, enhance the greatness of you.

It’s time for you to highlight the best things about you!

Use your shortcomings as motivation to become better by pushing yourself to be the best version

of (insert name here).

Get rid of those negative thoughts!

Don’t sell yourself short!

There’s nothing wrong with relying on support from others, but being your own cheerleader guarantees you 100% genuine support that you cannot get from anyone else.

 

 

I’ve been discouraged about many things in my life. In fact, I still struggle with staying encouraged but somehow, my need to become a winner outweighs my wanting to give up.

Life can throw us many curveballs, taking us out the game. But as long as we refuse to lose, we will find a way to stay in the game and WIN. There’s nothing standing between us but ourselves and opportunity. This is when we have to step out of our own way to make things happen.

There are a few major factors that make us become discouraged from whatever we want to accomplish:

Being content in your comfort zone

Downplaying your awesomeness

Thinking negative thoughts

Not living in the “now”

When we get rid of those self-detrimental patterns, we become fully aware of our determination to want better and to be better. We’ll realize that we have been in our own way to achieve greatness because we’re too afraid to try. It’s okay to become discouraged…as long as you acknowledge what’s holding you back, and you’re doing everything in your power to release yourself from it.

You owe yourself that.

I’m not talking about an actual garden.

I’m referring to your spiritual garden, your emotional garden, and your mental garden.

You ever wonder why you feel less of a person or unhappy when you give your all, but everything you give doesn’t get reciprocated?

You ever feel the need to be “Superwoman” in all aspects¬†of your life so that you can be liked, loved, and appreciated by others?

Do you ever compare your life to others and feel down because you haven’t reached the success that they have?

If you’ve experienced any or all¬†these things, well honey…you are ¬†using your water ¬†for other people’s gardens to bloom while your garden withers. ¬†You use so much water that you don’t leave enough for your own garden.

You have to realize that you are just as special and important as anyone else. You have a purpose in life and when you fill your cup with self-care, self- awareness, and self-love, your cup will overflow with blessings.

Your garden nourishes your soul when you water it. As your garden blooms, so does your spirit, which leaves you to look at life with a more positive outlook.

Take care of YOU first, because who’s going to look out for you better than yourself?

We get so used to watering the gardens of others that we forget that we planted the seeds for ours. We neglect our garden to make sure everyone else’s bloom. How will you ever know how beautiful your garden could be if you don’t take care of it?

From this moment on, I want you to take a look at your garden and see what needs to be done. Are there self-defeating weeds you need to pull? What about self-doubting buds that didn’t make it? Or those pesky low self-esteem stems with missing petals? Remove them all, water it, and turn your garden into a beautiful bed of flowers and roses like you know it could be.

It’s so easy for us to go from 0 to 100 when our kids don’t listen. It’s especially embarrassing when we do it in public, scolding and sometimes having to physically grab a hold of them to scare them into listening to us. Us parents see that we let our emotions get the best of us, but how else are we supposed to handle a child who misbehaves and won’t do what he’s told?

As much as we want our children to listen, we have to understand that they are going to push the wrong buttons at times. We should expect them to do that often. As a result, we find ourselves telling them the same things over and over until thy finally do it. However, the older they get, the less we have to repeat ourselves. The only difference is, the older they get, the more serious the rules become. At age six, we tell them to put their toys away. At age sixteen, we tell them to wait for sex. Will they listen at age six? Yes, but they won’t put the toys away anyway. Will they listen at sixteen? Hopefully, but we have to prepare ourselves to accept that they might become sexually active. Do we yell and scream at them, or do we find a way to stay calm and talk to them peacefully?

Now, I know some of you are reading this and say “Not my bad-ass child!”…LOL

I understand and trust me when I say, I feel for the parents who have a child that refuses to do what any adult tells them. What I say to that is to each his own. You know your child better than anyone else does¬†but remember this… After you’re done blowing steam out of your ears, cussing them out, and popping them upside their heads, do you think you’ve accomplished something? Do you think they’ll listen next time? There are many times when I blew the F Bomb at my kids because they did something I didn’t like. I even popped a head a couple of times. In the end, I didn’t feel any better. In fact, I realized ¬†that I let my anger get the best of me and it was better to calm down before I decide to have a talk with them. We get our points across better when our emotions aren’t at a high.

Kids go through life differently than adults do. At an early age such as six, they are still processing what’s right and what’s wrong in life. They’re going to touch an iron, not thinking it’s going to burn them. They’ll have to learn not to touch a hot iron from experience. It’s a part of growing. We have to remember not to lose it when they do. That’s pretty much what we as parents have to consider about our children.