Congrats to singer/Actor Tyrese Gibson.

The R&B crooner made the announcement on the ‘gram today that he married his girlfriend (name unknown) on Valentine’s Day.

The touching post includes a video, accompanied by the song by Brian Courtney Wilson’s, “I’ll Just Say Yes”.

Press play below!

 

Congrats to the beautiful couple!

Saying how we feel is something a lot of us fail at achieving. At an early age, we were taught the art of “people pleasing”- from saying yes when we really mean no to holding back from what we want to say for fear of rejection or offending someone.

The golden question is… how do we get over that fear and say exactly what’s on our minds?

The other day, my best friend and I had a conversation about not speaking from the heart and it led me to believe that I still suffer from the art of “people pleasing”. Because of my fear, I limit myself from being truthful, because my current situation is comfy, cozy, and feels really good. If I speak what’s on my mind and in my heart, my cozy place might start to feel familiarly uncomfortable, and I don’t want to end up in that place…again.

 

So…I play it safe.

 

If this seems familiar to you, then perhaps you should work on that inevitable fear I speak of. I feel it, so I know you do, too! Acknowledge your fear and work on getting rid of it.

How do we get rid of the fear?

*Being honest with ourselves

*Seeing the bigger picture

*Understanding how important it is for others to “get you”

*Realizing that we won’t have regrets later

*Realizing that if we don’t speak up, resentment could take place

 

For the fearless folks who doesn’t hesitate on speaking what’s on your mind, I admire you. It only means that you can embrace whatever the outcome will be. I guess for me, practice makes perfect. I won’t say I’m completely fearful. More like…cautious; waiting for the right time, thinking of what to say and how I should say it, and waiting for the moment when I can stop replaying the possible rejection in my head.

 

It’s a question that everyone seems to have a hard time answerin, because a lot of folks think it goes hand in hand. Well…I beg to differ. In my opinion, you can easily separate the two. Think about it!

Definition of love– 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, sibling, friend, or significant other.

Definition of Respect-A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Both definitions definitely describe a venerated feeling from one person to another due to admiration. It’s generally the same, but different overall. While I wish I could say that if you’re loved then you’re easily respected, I just can’t. I will take respect over love any day. What trips me out is that some folks will break down love with “unconditional love”. No matter how deep or “unconditional” a person’s love may have for you, that person still needs to respect you twice as much. Respect really goes a long way and if you don’t see that, then I’d have to ask how blinded you can be when it comes to “love”? Would you as a person who is experiencing love even recognize DISrespect if it happens?

 

A prime example of love VS. respect is the broken relationships (particularly marriages). The high divorce rate is staggering in the US, because of husbands/wives stepping out of their marriages and having affairs. Sure! Hubby loves wifey and Vice Versa, but having an affair certainly doesn’t classify as respect. Another example of love/respect…since some of the readers wanna include “unconditional” in the mix…our love for our kids are definitely unconditional….but I pray that they don’t grow to think it’s okay to steal money out of Mommy’s purse. Stealing money out of Mommy’s purse is definitely not respectful, but I won’t stop loving them because of that. Of course, I want my kids to love me unconditionally, but I want respect 10 times much because it shows that they’ll honor me enough to do what is deemed as appropriate and well-mannered. Of course, I want my future boo to love me because I’m fly! 😉 However, respect is better because he will treat me as an equal part of his life and will do everything in his respectful manner to see to it that I’m happy and fulfilled in our relationship.

In case you think I am, no…I am not knocking love. Love is very important in a relationship, especially intimate ones. If the person is worth your love then by all means, LOVE ON! But, don’t forget with love SHOULD come loads of amount of respect for one another. One can NEVER function properly without the other. That goes particularly for those in romantic relationships.

So, when it come down to it, I’m #TeamRespect. Not because I choose not to love or care not to be loved, but I choose to be honored accordingly as the person you see me as…a mom, a friend, a hard worker, and even a lover.

A popular Youtuber, Landon Moss, is touching souls all over the internet with his Sergio Valencia-directed video titled ‘Cherish Every Moment’.

It took me a moment to catch on at the end until I realized the unexpected.

Just like real life…we come across situations unexpected. That’s why it’s important to cherish every moment with the people you love. Don’t take anything and anyone for granted, because one day, an unexpected situation may take place and change everything….forever!

We as women make it so hard for ourselves when it comes to love.

As a woman who’s experienced a few heartbreaks, I can tell you that the way a woman feels about herself can hinder or help a relationship. It all boils down to self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-love; three components that only WE should give ourselves before looking for them from our significant other. The most common roadblock that we experience when failing at love is over-thinking. The moment our significant other does or say something we don’t like or don’t make some sort of move quickly as we expect, thoughts creep up, leaving us wondering if we’re smart enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough, etc. This insecurity issue is a sign of lack of self-love. If a woman truly loves herself, her flaws or/and whatever she lacks shouldn’t fee like a hindrance. This issue also brings fear, anxiety, and a lot of worry over issues that might not exist.

A man won’t even make an attempt to love us if he sees we’re not loving ourselves. If we’re not getting what we need emotionally from our significant other, then I’d suggest focusing on changing the shift in how we think. We panic and become anxious about what could go wrong, we’re not enjoying the experience of being in the relationship with this person. At a time when building true love should be a priority, we spend time wondering if he thinks we’re worth it.

A confident woman will know she’s worth love. A woman with insecurities will never get to experience the love she wants if she cannot love and accept herself. It’s also about her knowing who she is and knowing what she wants out of life. This confident woman also demands respect. Men are considered visual creatures, but in all honesty, they’ll fall in love with her personality and inner beauty before anything else. Her outer beauty only adds to his admiration for her. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world but if your confidence doesn’t match, then you’ll fail in love miserably. Men don’t feel like instilling positivity into a negative-thinking woman; they’ll feel they’ll do themselves a disservice if they have to spend energy constantly convincing a pessimistic woman that she has nothing to worry about and just enjoy the moment of being together.

Let’s work on our thought pattern for the better. Let’s work on love of self before we look for it in others. There’s nothing sadder than a woman who fails at love with her significant other and in the end doesn’t have enough to give herself.

By now, you’ve seen images of a couple whose proposal and wedding transpired all in one day and the tear-jerking union went viral all over social media. If you click on the hashtag, #ForeverDuncan” it takes you to a timeline of events between Alfred Duncan and his new wife, Sherrell, and their captured moments of the day’s memorable events.

On Oct. 1st, Alfred proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Sherell Woodward, at noon. Unbeknownst to Sherrell, a wedding ceremony was about to take place by 5pm. The bride-to-be was overcome with emotion as she arrived at the venue.

Learn more about their love story here

Since their love story broke, it’s been proven that folks have a hard time doing a couple of things when they witness something “out of the norm”, yet, extraordinary.

I’ve witnessed people (particularly men) have a hard time giving props where props are due, and the rest (women) using the Duncans’ relationship as a template for their own love life or lack thereof.

While I admit to ALMOST calling somebody to order the “Forever Duncan special”, I am clearly aware that I should create my own journey to true love, instead of following the love story of someone else. I think it’s safe to say that we all should focus on creating our own love story.

We forget that, perhaps, these folks went through hell and back to get where they are right now. Getting into a relationship is relatively easy, but it’s staying in it that could be a whole other challenge. Relationships take work, and everyone’s journey to true love is different.

This couple’s story has revealed the true colors of folks on social media. Since their story broke, I’ve witnessed more of a division in the dynamic between men and women in the black communities. Men have been doing more criticizing than congratulating the brotha on doing what he wanted to do with his queen. I’ve seen women publicly criticize the men they’ve dated for not being a “real man” like Alfred. I’ve also seen women criticize the new bride for waiting nine years.

I need y’all to cut it……..

Fellahs…don’t judge a brotha for leveling up on what you haven’t had the courage to do.

Ladies…Stop comparing your significant others (past & present) to a dude you don’t even know. A healthy relationship requires a 50/50 partnership, so stop judging like it’s ALL their fault you’re single and struggling.

The story of the Duncans reveals the problem we have and that’s the huge ass gap between men and women that need to be bridged. There’s also an obvious need for better understanding and communication when it comes to love and relationships.

Let’s stop judging and commend this couple for sharing their beautiful love story, and we should definitely commend Alfred for stepping up and showing the world the love he has for his woman.

love