In 2016, we’ve reported that Rob Hill Sr. and songstress/actress, Letoya Luckett, got engaged. Now that Rob and Letoya have split after only two months of MARRIAGE, I have doubts about some of these “relationship experts”.

It was a surprise to supporters and fans, considering no one knew the couple was already married at the time. They’ve done a great job of keeping their marriage super low-key. Unfortunately, this couple fits the description of “Hollywood marriages”; in love one week and broken up the next week.

However, there’s something peculiar about this breakup and it isn’t the quicky marriage. If you’re familiar with Rob’s work, you’ve probably wondered if he’s ever practiced what he’s preached. One would question Rob’s skill and motivation as an “expert” on life and love since his public breakup.

Let’s break down what Rob Hill Sr. really is….

According to his website’s bio, Rob is, “ an author, entrepreneur, and public speaker. Originally from Chesapeake, VA, Rob is sought after as a voice for the millennial generation on healthy relationships, purposed filled living, community organizing, and constructive love.”

In my opinion, that’s just a fancy way of saying he’s a “life coach”.

Many have criticized Rob on his break up with Letoya, because apparently, he should know better. It’s my belief that experts don’t become experts without experience, and it’s obvious that Rob has experienced the ups and down of love. Not everyone shares that sentiment, though.

Rob’s two-month marriage ending in divorce highlights the authenticity, or lack thereof, of these social media love gurus, experts, coaches, etc.

Let’s face it…we’ve all fallen for their quotes on life, love, and relationships because they relate to what we all go through. We use their words as motivation, and some of us even follow what they say in their posts and video clips like a cult. But, what good are their words if they’ve proven they can’t live by them?

Do we stop following them or do we give them the benefit of the doubt?

rhill

“Life Coaches” are human, too, and I’m putting myself in ALL of their shoes, including Rob’s. They go through stuff just like we do.

We don’t now what went down between Letoya and Rob, and I’m sure Rob doesn’t have the ability to see the future. We all go through life with unexpected situations, and experts on life, love, and relationships are no exceptions. As Hill would probably say, “We’re all one choice away from living a completely different life.”

People like Hill are allowed to go through negative experiences. Experiences, good and bad, are what makes us who we are today.

 

 

It’s a daily struggle to live in a place of acceptance, especially when we anticipate the future. We must learn to embrace our current lives, no matter what we’re going through or what we believe is a test of strength and patience.

We have to practice accepting ourselves and who we are, our family, our friends, our partners, our relationships, our situations, and even the crazy up and down weather we’ve been having. Doing so helps bring a certain level of peace for us.

Don’t get it twisted…acceptance isn’t the same as settling, despite what others may think or say about accepting what is. The key to living a positively present life is to change our way of thinking. No more “it should be…”, “I wish…”, Why didn’t I….”, “I need to…”, etc. worry or dwell on what could be better or improved in your life, but enjoy the process of improving without fear of failure.

When we stop worrying or dwelling on what could be better or improved in our lives, we begin to enjoy the process of improving without fear of failure. We’re no longer focusing on what should be and it feels damn good!

Do yourselves a favor and live abundantly in the present.

Your future self will thank you.

 

 

Heeeeyyyy, beautiful people!!!!!!

I’m so happy to be back and doing what I do best! Did y’all miss me?

 

So many good things in my life have transpired. I moved into my new home, started a side gig, and I also started a new business venture, which will cause some blowuptuism! As of now, I’m getting used to all three, but none of it could keep me from creating content for you, my friend. I just needed some time to “reprogram”. Now, that I’m back, I’d like to share what I’ve learned and/or discovered while I was out of commission.

While I was away, I’ve also noticed a few of these celebs wanting to show off with their petty meter turned up to the max. One of those celebs is singer/actor, Tyrese. Tyrese took to the ‘gram to “advise” black women to basically alter their appearance for “real” men.  This brotha actually told women what to do with their bodies based on his personal opinions. His misguided attempt to give “advice” to black women came off as a rant that was offensive, misogynistic, and it was definitely unsolicited. The 38-year-old newlywed has since deleted the controversial post, but Essence has it and there’s a great article on it, as well. Check it out here.

 

While I was away, a 13-year-old girl’s visit on Dr. Phil for disruptive behavior has resulted in a reported million dollar investment for her. More on why I’m disgusted will be on another post.

 

While I was away, we’ve lost a rock n roll legend, Chuck Berry.

 

While I was away, reports of missing teens in the Washington, DC area has been at an alarming rate. Meanwhile, the FBI has located Tom Jersey’s missing jersey that was stolen after the Superbowl. Read my rage about this in a forthcoming thought piece.

 

While I was away, I’ve discovered how important it is to accept what is. More on that later…

 

While I was away, I’ve learned that Rachel Dolezal still believes she’s black.

 

While I was away, I saw Tameka “Tiny” Harris prove that making boss moves is your best revenge.

 

While I was away, Kendrick Lamar showed the world why he’s a Hip-Hop genius.

 

While I was away, I wondered if ‘The Real’ could survive without weekly guest hosts.

 

While I was away, I’ve learned that celebrity opportunities can be birthed from Youtube.

 

I’ve learned and discovered all the aforementioned and so much more. I cannot wait to share my thought pieces on everything.

Thank YOU for being patient and sticking it out with me.

 

I’m glad to be back 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some of us may not be where we want to be in life, but we are a lot better off than where we were in the past. Even if it feels like the complete opposite, we have to realize that every day we’re given an opportunity to make changes for a better life.

Every thought, every action, and every reaction starts with us and ends with us. We can always blame everyone else for what’s not going  right but what good will that do? Ultimately, everything that’s happening in our lives are based off our decision-making. We are responsible for what’s happening and what’s not happening.

So what do we do to make the necessary changes?

Decide if we’ve had enough.

If we’re seeking new results, we have to do things differently.

Stop placing blame on others.

Understand that it’s okay to fail. It’s getting back up and not quitting that matters.

Keep going, even if you fumble along the way.

Focus on what you want to accomplish.

Slow down and just enjoy the now

Stay true to who you are.

Know that pain and failure are your greatest teachers.

 

These are sure-fire ways to help make the best of our lives. As long as we view what’s happening with an optimistic mindset, we can live the life we deserve. No one is stopping us but us.

Ae you ready to make changes?

LET’S GO! 🙂

 

 

Photo credit: Aisha Butler for Jazzy Studios

While finally coming off my “Formation” high, I feel compelled to share with you, my luvs, on why I needed Beyoncé’s song as a reminder that I slay, as well as address some critics on the importance of visual/lyrical translation.

It’s so easy for people to not get the message Beyoncé is conveying in “Formation”. Folks who has criticized the song and the video doesn’t understand how art and culture are blended to form an artistic statement. Only a TRUE artist and genuine art lovers will “get it”.

I am in no way a member of #Beyhive. However, “Formation” has left such an impact on me, I may have to consider. 🙂

I’ve always been a fan of Bey for her tenacious work ethic and her ability to pull emotions out of her fans with her music. Beyoncé has collectively and creatively shown who she is with each solo album. You’d have to be an art lover to recognize the personalized theme behind each album.

Despite all of Beyoncé’s number one singles, it is her latest single, “Formation”, that has affected me to the core. “Formation” has successfully made me and every other woman who “get’s it” aware of her ability to evolve and become the best she can be, despite her circle of critics.

There has been a lot said about the video to “Formation”, as well as the lyrics. Some say the lyrics don’t match the video. Some say the song is all about money, fashion, and sex. The rest is too sensitive to get over Beyoncé dropping the F Bomb and hearing Big Freedia use the word “bitch”.

With all due respect to those sensitive to profanity, you’re not hearing something you’ve never heard before and most likely out of your own mouth a few times, so cut it out!

It’s all about translation.

Before I get into that, let me share why I’ve needed a reminder that “I slay”.

My life came with many challenges, including child loss, heartbreak, financial struggles, body image struggles, and low self-esteem. While any of those things could make me crumble, I chose not to by simply doing what I can do to live a happier and stress-free life…and for that, I fuckin’ slay! Of course, I didn’t need advice or permission from a world-wide entertainer to slay because I always have. I just never realized it until her song confirmed that and I truly thank Beyoncé for that.

Beyoncé has a special way to make her female fans see themselves in her. That’s the power of a true artist and performer and the most effective way to gain a fan’s love. To be able to do that with music and video transcends my admiration for her. In my humble opinion, no other entertainer has been able to do that since Michael Jackson.

TRANSLATION

This is the part of the post where my “Formation” critics really need to pay attention. When it comes to translating lyrics as complex as Formation’s, you have to break down each verse/sentence in the simplest form for someone like you to understand.

We all know what folks has said about Beyoncé and her family for years. She’s basically responded to everything said about her in a 4-minute visual. From her joining the Illuminati to how she style BlueIvy’s hair, Beyoncé effortlessly said EFF YO OPINIONS the only way Beyoncé can do.

As far as the visual, I have never seen representation so beautifully expressed. From the vintage fashions to the setting, you could smell the scent of New Orleans, Louisiana through the screen. I love how Beyoncé is on the porch, surrounded by strong black men; her family of protectors. I love how she’s in the living room with her girlfriends, sipping tea. That’s representation of sisterhood. I love how she stands on a drowning cop car with one fist in the air. That doesn’t scream anti-police, it screams Black Lives Matter…something we’ve been screaming since Katrina when our brothas and sistahs and their babies were DROWNING. I love seeing the little black boy in the black hoodie, dancing in front of the policeman in riot gear…dancing for all the young black boys and men we’ve lost to police brutality/killings. The message “stop shooting us” spray painted on a wall were just a few words, but powerful as ever, with the boy and his hoodie. I love the scene with the sistahs in the beauty supply store. Each one of them, expressing their individuality, with colored hair, piercings, while sporting a “no fucks given” facial expression.

When she says…

“Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh”

“I’m so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin’)

“I’m so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces”

She’s not just unapologetically BLACK, She’s also unapologetically CONFIDENT, and unapologetically IN LOVE with her HUSBAND!

 

When she says…

“My daddy Alabama,
Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole, make a Texas bamma!
I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils!”

She’s making us aware that she is proud of her black southern, creole-ish, country biscuit and jambalaya-eaten, fresh squeezed lemonade drinkin’, thick/curly hair rockin’  background, and don’t care what y’all fools think of her, her man’s features, or her baby’s hair!

 

When she says…
“When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay”
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay” 
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J’s, let him shop up, cause I slay”

 

She’s basically saying she doesn’t mind treating her man when he makes love to her the way she wants it. You can’t get any simpler than that. She’s getting the love she deserves. The middle fingers risen is for the censors and critics alike, who she knew would have something to say.

Let’s carry on

When she says…

Chorus:

“I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it
I twirl on them haters, albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low, sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Get what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)
Cause I slay”

Do I really have to break this down?

This is the part of the song that gets me going! The lyrics here matches my personal hustle. After I see it, I grind ’til I own it! My entrepreneurial spirit rises like a wildfire when I listen to the chorus.

The most important part…When she says

“Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Okay, ladies, now let’s get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated”

She’s basically sayin’ to all the ladies who are workin’ hard and grinding til they own it in their own journeys without hurting others…LET’S ALL DO IT TOGETHER! Whoever doesn’t should get out of line and make room for those ladies who do. Let’s get in formation and take care of ourselves and our families. Let’s get in formation and realize that you’re capable of achieving greatness. Let’s get in formation and recognize how fierce we all truly are, despite how others feel about you!!! If I may add (and at this point, this may be just my assumption) We should all stop competing with one another. Let’s start celebrating each other’s accomplishments. When one of us win, WE ALL WIN.

 

In conclusion, I know how stubborn critics could be. What they believe is what they’re sticking to and to be honest…they have that right. The bottom line is we as music lovers have to educate ourselves on how art and culture come together. When we read into things too technically involving arts, it takes away the recognition the artist tries to convey artistically.

For those who’ve listened to “Formation” and only hears fashion, sex, and money. Please, listen to it again with open-mindedness and an artistic ear. “Formation” isn’t about any of that. It’s about female empowerment, black love, and an undeniable expression of black pride.

Get with the program

I’ve had a chance to watch a show that I now consider to be one of my favorites, Black Ink Chicago. The cast of this show, both the men and women, are some good looking brothers and sisters, I mean natural beauty with no enhancements, which to me is refreshing to see on reality tv these days. Aside from looks, their substance mixed with a little ratchet keeps me tuned in!

Phor, one of the characters on the show, is a tattoo artist and rapper. On one episode, Phor meets with his client who is an aspiring athlete graduating from high school to further his football career in college. Inspired by his client’s determination, Phor started tattooing while giving his testimony.

Phor spoke candidly about how his mother pursued a “male-driven occupation” as a contractor, despite trials and tribulations. She worked tirelessly to make ends meet for her family.

Towards the end of his testimony, Phor continued to praise his mother for not giving up, contributing her efforts as the reason for his success today.

What Phor said touched me so much that I too began to think about my situation; my relationship with my children, specifically my oldest two because they are now seventeen and eighteen years old. I started to wonder if my children were proud of me. I wondered if my past failures and successes inspired or impaired them. I wanted to be assured that what we’ve been through as a family somehow strengthened them to be responsible contributing citizens to this place called life.
I went on to think further than myself. I thought if my children were able to take what they’ve learned and become contributing citizens in this world, then my mother can also rest in heaven easy having known that she too has a child who took what she has learned and is the best person she can be today. That child I speak of without question is me.

Go to the dictionary, look up “Grind” and you will see Emily J Parrott.

 

How did she grind you might ask? Easy! When she decided to raise two babies at the age of seventeen, when she stop depending on welfare, when she went back to school to gain her GED, when she pursued her career as a nurse, when she came in late after working twelve-hour shifts, when she worked twelve hours and, still had enough energy to make a hot meal for her family.

I credit my mother for having given me is knowing that I cannot grind out here on my own strength. I learned early on that to get through tough times I had to seek a higher source.

Now, whether you praise Jesus, God, Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah or Tupac, that’s your business but as far my mother, she was committed to staying connected to God.

I can count on my hands how many times my family and I walked into a building to worship, but what my mother did for me (I don’t think she consciously knew she was doing this) she help me to see God bigger than four walls and bigger than you and I. She didn’t set limits to how we understood God which gave my siblings and I room to embrace Him as we saw fit.

Grinding while staying connected continues to help me to this day, and as I pass the torch to my children, prayerfully they too will pass great lessons on to their kids for many generations to come.

With all that said, It is my desire that we as parents stop wondering if we could’ve done better for our kids and rest in knowing all things work for the greater good. As we watch our children grow, let’s take the time to notice the strengths they have inherited from our efforts, because we have now created responsible contributing citizens to this life. In our kids eyes as long as we’re trying, there can be no mistakes.

So let’s pat ourselves on the back and give ourselves a big bear hug for a job well done. Our children will fall… that is how they learn. Like our parents and us, they too will get back up, dust themselves off, and keep trying! If they have children, well, guess what? They too will see great efforts made on their behalf and make an impact in this world too. We have to keep the faith, grind and trust the process.

Wishing you all the best,
Aneesah Morine

 

In loving Memory of My Mother Emily J Parrott
1960-1998

We ALL need help with this thing called life. We all have these ideas floating around in our heads about what we’d like to do, where we’d like to go, who we’d like to be… and so on. Sometimes, these ideas float and other times the crash into each other and then we get stressed out! OMG, have I been there? YESSSSS! I definitely know the feeling.

For years, I’ve struggled with making the ideas in my head a reality. What should I do? Should I take that class? Should I move to another state? I want to move, but how? When? what do I need? Where should I go? Where should I start? Can I even do this? I used to wake up in the morning with these questions and go right to bed at night with them as well. I became overwhelmed at times with so much indecision. I needed help!

stress 2
LIFE COACH
A person who counsels and encourages clients on matters having to do with personal challenges or careers.

A Life Coach is what I needed. After asking around and doing some research, I came across a Life Coach right in my area in Brooklyn. This woman was the truth! She had degrees, wrote a book, and even counseled celebrities on a reality show! Oh, heck yeah… I was getting in touch with her!

Guys, can I tell you? After a few sessions with my new Life Coach, things started to become clearer to me. She was able to help clear the fog and I was comfortable with my thoughts and was able to make sense out of them. Honestly, she was a blessing. I was able to put things into perspective and begin the process of working my life out. I’ve since completed my nursing courses, relocated to another state, and I’m still using with skills I learned with her to create new realities. Having access to a Life Coach has definitely been a positive experience and I would advise anyone to look into it. You can Google Life Coaches in your area or you can even check out my Life Coach, Vladimire Calixte.

vladimire calixte

naked and transparent cover

This piece comes after a very trying day. I swear! I work VERY hard at not giving the devil work to do, but somehow he manages to get overtime on making some of my days unlivable! As a result, I automatically assume the rest of my life will be the same as today.

That is…until I come back to my senses.

When we go through tough days, we have to keep in mind that we have to fight through some of our bad days, so we can experience the best days of our lives. Of course, it’s not easy when external forces make you go out of character…

 

 

At the end of the day (literally), all that matters is that you didn’t let what happened rob you of your peace of mind.

We have to go through a lot to get where we want to be and that includes battling ourselves to live up to others’ potential and struggling to be or do better than the day before. We all navigate through life with ups and downs, fighting our way to our ultimate life goals, yet still uncertain if we’ll get there.  What’s most important is that we don’t let obstacles get in the way and we keep going. Those obstacles include what others do or say to affect your optimistic attitude.

If you’ve had a bad day like I did…remember that there’s always Tomorrow. You’ve got to get up, get on, and get over it…get it all to be strong! Sorry ya’ll…I’ve been on my Tevin Campbell kick heavy lately 😉

 

Having thick skin is necessary in a world full of people who goes by the theory “misery loves company”. I have to stay mindful that people love differently than I do and not everyone has my kind of heart.

Not everyone will support what you do. Not everyone wants to see you happy, especially when their own lives are in shambles…and that’s okay. The only thing we can do is accept it, make peace with it, and move on. It may be hard, considering some people will go as far as sabotage your positive energy by doing or saying all they can to “push your buttons”.

Why?

Because they are not experiencing the internal and external success you are owning in your life. You both started from the bottom, but you’re at the top by yourself. Meanwhile, they’re still struggling to climb the first step. These miserable people don’t understand that your success is their success. When you win, they win. When your energy is good, it is strong enough to carry over into the people in your circle. The people who truly care about you will embrace your energy and use it to motivate theirselves to do better.

Then there are the rest…

These people will use your good energy and deplete it with pointless jealousy; Their actions prove that you’re not liked by them and you find yourself wondering what in the world you’ve done to deserve the mistreatment.

We can be more concerned than we need to be whether or not we are liked and naturally so. It’s that “People pleasing syndrome” that all of us carry at some point in our lives.  The reality is…some people will not like us, because of the energy we display.  Caring what others think about you will deplete your good energy, making you susceptible to leveling yourself down for their comfort level.

So, this person and that person don’t like you…so what?

Don’t let that stifle your growth and harden your heart. Everyone in the world is not meant to be in tune with your energy. Make peace with that and keep living your life.

I’m not talking about an actual garden.

I’m referring to your spiritual garden, your emotional garden, and your mental garden.

You ever wonder why you feel less of a person or unhappy when you give your all, but everything you give doesn’t get reciprocated?

You ever feel the need to be “Superwoman” in all aspects of your life so that you can be liked, loved, and appreciated by others?

Do you ever compare your life to others and feel down because you haven’t reached the success that they have?

If you’ve experienced any or all these things, well honey…you are  using your water  for other people’s gardens to bloom while your garden withers.  You use so much water that you don’t leave enough for your own garden.

You have to realize that you are just as special and important as anyone else. You have a purpose in life and when you fill your cup with self-care, self- awareness, and self-love, your cup will overflow with blessings.

Your garden nourishes your soul when you water it. As your garden blooms, so does your spirit, which leaves you to look at life with a more positive outlook.

Take care of YOU first, because who’s going to look out for you better than yourself?

We get so used to watering the gardens of others that we forget that we planted the seeds for ours. We neglect our garden to make sure everyone else’s bloom. How will you ever know how beautiful your garden could be if you don’t take care of it?

From this moment on, I want you to take a look at your garden and see what needs to be done. Are there self-defeating weeds you need to pull? What about self-doubting buds that didn’t make it? Or those pesky low self-esteem stems with missing petals? Remove them all, water it, and turn your garden into a beautiful bed of flowers and roses like you know it could be.

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