When I ask if you’re exceptional or basic, it has nothing to do with how you live, how much money you have, or what brand labels are in your closet, but it has everything to do with how the man in your life views you.

How a man views you is how he’ll treat you and it’s up to you, a woman who yearns for respect and honesty in a relationship, to make sure he treats you like you deserve. It starts with growing enough balls to express what you won’t allow and what you desire. However, some of us tend to forget the importance of that and allow our passive aggressiveness to weaken our ability to demand what we want and/or need in a relationship. That’s what basic women do. I can tell you from experiences from women I know and from my own experiences that a lot of men LOVE some basic women!

Why? He knows that under all of that fake tough and demanding exterior, is a woman ready to fall in love. Basic women want to be in a relationship so badly, any amount of attention from him makes her feel like what they have is worth her holding onto, even if he shows signs of being messy. He knows that if he shows signs of being messy, his basic woman will fake the funk and pretend to leave if he doesn’t shape up. When that man starts to put one foot out the door, his basic woman will suddenly have a change of heart, out of fear of losing him to another woman or being alone. A few weeks or a few months have gone by and at this point, you’re frustrated because it feels like you’re investing a lot more into the relationship than he is. In some cases, this has happened more than once in a relationship that’s at least four months old. I guarantee you that 85% of y’all reading this have experienced a relationship like this, currently in a relationship like this, or know someone who is.

Truth be told, the men in these type of relationships are just as basic, because only an exceptional man will not take his woman for granted. It’s been said that we are who we attract…basic dudes attract basic women because they can get away with shit while playing with their basic women’s hearts.

The good thing is…It doesn’t have to be that way.

A woman goes from ‘basic’ to ‘exceptional’ when she learns to “toughen up” and not let the idea of being alone frighten her. An exceptional woman is honest with herself, as well as with him, about what she’s worthy of and she won’t feel bad for expressing that. Only a basic dude will try to make her feel that way for selfish reasons. An exceptional woman respects herself and demands respect from her partner. If he can’t meet those demands, that exceptional woman will have no problem cutting him off like a price tag on a new blouse!

Exceptional women will not chase. If he decides to leave, let him. Leaving already proves that he can’t love you like you deserve.

Between the delusion of thinking a man can be changed, the extreme thirst for wanting genuine love, and some ‘sunshine’ vagina, it could be difficult for a woman to change her basic ways. In order for her to become exceptional, she has to accept the fact that a man cannot be changed and it’s possible that her vagina may not be the best he’s ever had. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting genuine romantic love, but there are more proper ways to go about receiving it and that’s to NOT look for it in a guy who isn’t even your boyfriend. Stop looking for love PERIOD.

Focus on being exceptional. Only then, will the man who’ll truly love you will find you…and that’s when you’ll least expect it.

When we’re getting over a break-up, we usually consider it one of the worst things that could happen. Getting over someone who you’ve invested your time and heart in is like getting over the death of a loved one. The bad thing is you’re no longer a couple, which you believed you guys would be forever.

Two good things about the break-up?

Death is not involved, so you can still curse them out until your heart’s content…and the doozy…..it could be the catalyst for change that your spirit need. We don’t often pay attention to the good that can come out of a break-up and one of those goods is the chance for self-preparation. Self-preparation requires awareness, creating space for opportunities, emotional and spiritual growth, and acknowledging what your ex has subconsciously taught you.

Your ex has actually taught you many things, including what you deserve and what you’re worthy of. If you are the one that has caused the break-up, consider that you’ve made mistakes and you could learn to not repeat them in your next relationship. We’re all human, so we will fuck up. What matters is that we acknowledge them, make peace with them, learn from them, and move on. Not only have you been given the chance to be freed from a person who was obviously not right for you, but you’ll discover more about yourself that you may not have discovered if you were still with that person. Consider your break-up a blessing in disguise!

Your ex has prepared you for your next, meaning you have gone through the worst in your past relationship to end up with the best relationship you’ll ever have. Your break-up gives you the opportunity to grow, figure out what you really want and heighten the confidence and self-love that you’ve lost while in your toxic relationship. As a result, you become your own lesson’s project when you meet your future mate. Your break-up also gives you the opportunity to create a space for one who deserves to occupy it. That person will instill the lessons that you’ve shared and utilize them for the sake of a healthier relationship.

We all go through trials and errors in life and a break-up is no exception. However, remember that a break-up doesn’t have to break you down. Take the good out of it, learn from it, utilize the time as a single person for your benefit, and when the time comes when you’re ready for your next relationship, you’ll have even more to offer than before.

You’re thinking this couple is either out of their minds or they’re extremely brave and adventurous to pull off something like having a photoshoot in a snow storm. Either way, you can’t deny how beautiful the images turned out. They’re simply breathtaking.

David Nartey and Felicia Sam braved the snow in Forte Meade, Maryland to capture the perfect shot for their engagement photos. According to ABC News, the DC couple left work Friday to drive nearly 40 minutes to Fort Meade, Maryland, to play in the snow and capture it all on camera.

blizzardcpl2

 

“We had wanted to do a snow photo shoot for a long time,” Sam told ABC News. “So any opportunity that presented itself, we were just going to take it. I heard on the news that there was going to be a blizzard so I said surely there’ll be snow. I called the photographer [Dotun Ayodeji] and said, ‘Are you up for it?’ And he said, ‘Oh my God, you’re reading my mind.’”

 

The photos are stunning.
Although snow can be responsible for making things harder for us, this beautiful couple’s engagement photos are proof that we can appreciate it aesthetically. Falling snow makes for attractive image backgrounds <3
Wishing this couple forever in love!

This statement has been debatable since Facebook’s debut in 2004. While I do think your business is your business, I think that statement is false and here are my reasons why.

There’s a thin line between being private and being secret. While I understand the need for privacy, it’s difficult for me to believe that NO sign of a relationship on Facebook means that it’s healthy. I agree…but to a point. If your relationship is healthy then showing signs of it on Facebook wouldn’t even be an issue.

Why?

Because both individuals would be faithful and secure, so showing signs on Facebook or any social media site would never be a problem for either of them.

If you feel like you have to be completely discreet about your relationship, then there’s a reason behind that and that has nothing to do with being private. If you’ve been dating a person for more than six months, talks about taking your relationship to the next level have already happened (or at least there should have been). I’m pretty sure there was some agreement made at one point by one convincing the other to practice discretion. At that point, you both were unaware that practicing discretion with the relationship will eventually cause more stress in the relationship than helping it.

The idea for anyone to be discreet to the point where they don’t want to show any signs of it on social media is the solution for someone leaving room for themselves to perpetuate their single status for others. Most women will fall with the discretion logic because they don’t want to debate something for fear of showing their insecurities. The unfortunate part about that is that at some point, babygirl will be battling with her self-control.

It could get tempting to post your mate on Facebook, but if your mate hasn’t done it, then you are forced to “hold out”, and that could get frustrating for you.

When it all comes down to it, Facebook or ANY of the social media platforms is never the cause of relationship failures. Those who seek discretion will brainwash their mates with that logic. If anything, it just brings to light what someone has been doing all along.

 

 

A letter to a friend:

Blended families are NEVER easy, but here’s why I don’t have a lot of sympathy for your situation because… we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package…Period! If I didn’t want that…I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey…I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him…his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other… but we have learned to LOVE each other.

I can’t support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can’t say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT’S selfishness…NOT love. WOMAN UP… I’ve been there…I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It’s time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are.
J

This is a letter that Jada Pinkett-Smith penned in 2013 to the selfish moms in Facebook land. While reading this, I was impressed at Mrs. Smith’s level of maturity, as she openly shared her need to not only embrace Will’s first child but his mother (Sheree Fletcher) as well.

As times changed, so did the structure of families. A couple who marries and starts a family afterwards is the ideal way, but it’s not the reality for a lot of couples today. In reality, a lot of us has had children out-of-wedlock but is still blessed to find love.  Accepting each other’s kids gives you both an uber amount of kudos. Coming into the relationship, you already knew they were a package. You both plan to marry and that’s wonderful. However, for whatever reason, you can’t bring yourself to like the parent of your future step-child.

This is where you have to evaluate your level of maturity or lack thereof. As Jada mentioned…if you love the child, you have to find a way to love the person who brought your step-child into the world. I’m sure after years of animosity, it could be a struggle, but making peace is what keeps a family together. Your peace, acceptance, and love is the glue that keeps the family together. Remember when you marry, you are co-parenting with not only your husband but with his child’s mother, too! The three of you have to work as a team, no matter what happened in the past. You’d be surprised at the dynamic between you and her. Teaming up could not only strengthen the friendship between you and her, but your man will see your effort and fall more in love with you.

Letting go of any resentment or animosity is necessary to make blended families a peaceful family. Never think it’s your right to come between your husband and his child because you don’t get along with the child’s mother. Not only are you being childish and selfish, but your behavior will strip that child of his right to be raised in a positive and stress-free household. You also subconsciously make that child have to “choose sides”.

Let go….forgive….move on…love

these are the four keys to help strengthen the bond of your blended family.

If you or someone you know is struggling with making peace, send them this post.

As always, thanks  for reading. 🙂

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