The dating realm doesn’t come without “the cat and mouse” game that we sometimes are forced to play. Whether it’s the guy chasing the woman or the woman chasing the guy…either way, chasing leaves room for one of them to make a fool out of themselves without realizing it. I feel compelled to share these 8 ways with my ladies because..well, I’m a lady. As every other lady in this world, I slipped up a few times when I was the “cat” in a few cat and mouse games and let me tell you…that doesn’t feel good. If you’re the type of lady who goes for yours, then do you ladybug. However, I’m convinced that there’s a thin line between being approachable and being desperate. For some of us, it could be difficult to be the pursuer without appearing needy. With that kind of situation, I’d encourage you, ladybug, to stop chasing and start persisting. Here are 8 ways to stop chasing that guy you want and the reasons why.



  • Realize that you’re a catch

Reason-You are worthy enough to be pursued, so don’t let your “go get him” attitude get in the way of that. Believe it or not, men appreciate the opportunity for a healthy chase without you beating him to the punch every single time. If you are always doing the catch; being the pursuer and/or always approaching by texting/calling, Facebooking, and everything else FIRST, he’ll lose interest of you quickly, rather than gain it.

  • Give yourself a chance to be wanted

Reason- I think every woman wants to feel wanted by the guy she likes. However, it’s  unfortunate to use that as motivation to be the initiator for dates, making plans, etc. We can be so focused on making good impressions, we don’t often see how damaging it could be for us. Let that guy take the role as the “plan maker”. You’d want to see how much effort he’ll use with wanting to get to know you.

  • Let go of the idea of losing him or his interest in you

Reason-If you don’t remember anything else, remember that if he wants you, he’ll call you, text you, hits up your social media, etc. If he cares, he’ll show it. If he misses you, he’ll prove it. If his actions speak of not having any interest in you, don’t invest your time with trying to hold on to his by attention-seeking habits. He’s obviously showing you that you aren’t worth the effort.

  • Know that he’ll keep running

Reason- As long as you keep chasing/pursuing him, he’ll keep running. In his mind, you won’t go anywhere. When and if he’s ready to respond, he’ll hit you. He’s subconsciously showing you that you are on his time while you’re working overtime trying to convince him that you’re worth a date. Let that resonate with you.

  • You’ll give the right guy a chance to catch you

Reason- When you’re too busy trying to catch the wrong guy, you’ll miss your blessing with the right one. Simply put, you’re distracted by the wrong guy for all of the wrong reasons. This guy is wrong for you because he’s already showed you that. He’s going to keep running from you, as long as you continue to chase him. It’s not about you being a “go-getter”. It’s about recognizing what you do and don’t deserve. A man who is genuinely interested in you would never make you feel like you’re playing a game of cat and mouse.

  • Realize the possibility of you fighting for a spot in his heart/life

Reason- Has it ever crossed your mind that he could be dealing with another woman? Chances are he’s running from you because his heart and his mind are preoccupied with feelings and thoughts about another woman. Keep that in mind the next time you feel the urge to keep his attention.

  • Realize that God removes people from your life

Reason- God removes those who could be a lesson rather than a blessing. If you find yourself constantly chasing and initiating contact with this guy, then it’s for good reason. Maybe God is working on him. Learn when to chill and let things be. God’s got this!

  • Do you

Reason- Focus on your own stuff! Work on yourself, your goals, your kids, your passion etc. When you take the focus away from him, you give yourself the opportunity to grow your confidence and your fierceness by tending to your own needs.



I’ve given a fuck for most of my life and as a result, it has brought me many regrets about situations that I wish I could go back and change.  Now that I’m older, I know better.

Like me, I know you have gone through a period in your life where giving too many fucks in situations were fucks that did not deserve to be given.

We give a fuck when our bosses don’t appreciate our efforts at work…

We give a fuck when our birthday isn’t treated like a holiday…

We give a fuck about gaining weight and losing weight…

We give a fuck about folks liking us…

We give a fuck about folks NOT liking us…

We give a fuck about what people say and think about us…

We give a fuck about not enough money…

We give a fuck about too much money

We give so many fucks, that we’ve been subconsciously programmed to live life aiming for perfection, assuming that will make life stress-free.

There are also fucks I have not given that has made positive results in my life. It really depends on what we prioritize and what we tolerate.

Here are 8 ways to NOT give a fuck and live a stress-free life


  1. Know that it’s okay not to be perfect

Trying to be free as possible from all flaws, defects, bad decisions, etc, will stress you out until your hair falls out! It’s okay to make mistakes, make a bad decision and acknowledge our flaws, as long as we learn from them. Our flaws make us who we are. The mistakes and bad decision-making now will help us to be wiser and make better choices in the future. 

     2. Say no more often with assertion

When folks are not used to hearing you say no, it’ll be kind of hard to convince them that you mean it when you finally say it. Say NO like you mean it and if you must give them a reason, let it be known without hesitation.

    3. Know and love yourself for who you are

It takes a high level of self-esteem and self-love to accept yourself for who you are. When you accept yourself for who you are, what people think of you will be the least of your concerns. In fact, it’s none of your business what people think of you. You just keep on being fierce!

     4. Eat and drink what you want without guilt

This doesn’t mean eat McDonald’s everyday and devour a bottle of Jack Daniels every night. This simply mean that it’s okay to take a small break from your usual clean eating to go get a pizza with friends. It’s also okay to treat yourself to Coldstone once in a while. 

     5. Be okay with how much time you give your workout routine.

If 10 minutes is all you got for your workout session, 10 minutes of working out is all you need!  If you don’t workout, that’s okay, too!



    6. Blessings occur during different times in our lives.

Just because what you want happened for someone else doesn’t mean it won’t happen for you. Stop giving a fuck about why you’re “not there” and just enjoy the progress to getting there. 

    7.) Develop a lifestyle or hobby that you can be proud of

When developing healthy habits that will add value to your life, you also develop habits that will help you set positive goals. Work on those goals that will help you attain a feel-good lifestyle. 

     8. Accept that some things are uncontrollable

Knowing that we cannot change the things/situations we cannot control is a surefire way to decrease the fucks given in almost any situation. When in doubt, know that you’ve done what you could to the best of your ability to make situations better for you and/or all involved.

As adults, we can become overwhelmed with the complexities of life; parenthood, relationships, and careers all while  trying to keep a roof over our heads. It’s enough to make you want to crawl back into your mama’s womb for a “do-over”.

When we were younger, we couldn’t wait to become adults. Now that we’re adults, we think back and wonder what the hell we were thinking!

Every now and then, it’s okay to take a break from being an adult. Here are 8 ways to do so without feeling guilty!

A Weekend Getaway– Wouldn’t it be nice to just go away for a few days without thinking about bills, the kids, or your spouse/significant other who’s been getting on your last nerve? Plan a small and affordable trip for yourself or with a couple of your friends that will help take the stress away.

Retail Therapy Without The Family- If you have a few dollars to spare after paying your bills, treat yourself at the mall. Whether it’s that shirt you’ve been eye-balling for a while or just walking through it until you see something that catches your eye, treating yourself WITHOUT your loved ones tagging along provides a certain level of tranquility.

Go to an Amusement Park- Jumping on your favorite rides always bring out the excited kid in you!

Say ‘NO’ more often- Say no to anyone or anything that will inconvenience you. The more you say no, the time needed to do more important things will be revealed to you.

Choose at least one day to do nothing- Pick a day to just…do nothing. No television, no radio, no internet, no phone….everything is turned off! Well…maybe not the radio. Perhaps, listening to your favorite jazz station could do you some good:-) When you spend the day doing absolutely nothing, it rids the stress in your spirit and relaxes your mind.

Work on Your Favorite Hobby– Work on a project that brings you joy. It’ll help take your mind off more serious things.

One Day Without Driving Anywhere- If possible, take a day without driving anywhere. Get a loved-one to run typical errands, while you take a much-needed breather.

Read Blogs on How to Take the Stress Away- Every little bit of advice helps, thus the reason for this piece. Blogs offer many pointers on how to live a stress-free life as an adult. Take advantage of the information that is TOTALLY free all through the internet.







Moving on after a painful breakup can be difficult, but we all know that with time, you’ll feel better enough to accept what’s happened and be at peace. That’s why it’s especially important to take care of your mind, body, and soul between relationships. You’d want to be completely healed and emotionally responsible enough to be in another serious relationship before you start the next one. Some of us make the biggest mistake of doing the opposite and as a result, we end of in many situationships. Here are 8 ways to get your mind right before you meet your next “Boo”!

Don’t be afraid to go through the pain of your breakup~ Cry, throw things, yell, scream, vent, do whatever you can to let all of your emotions go! Nothing makes you feel worse than pretending you’re not badly hurt, only for you to burst from the pressure of trying to hide it.
Work on a personal goal and achieve it~ Accomplishing something you’ve always wanted to do somehow makes you feel brand new. Completing a goal also makes you feel good about yourself. The task of completing a goal also keeps your mind off other things, as well. Stay busy and complete a few goals!
Writing is therapy~ As a writer, I can vouch for this one. Writing your thoughts in a journal (manual or online) helps releases the negativity in your mind and in your heart. As days. weeks, or even months go by and you’re still writing, you may notice a significant change in your writing style which symbolizes a woman who is experiencing peace within herself.
Learn from your mistakes~ Don’t beat yourself over the decisions you’ve made i your past. Instead, learn from the mistakes created from those decisions and focus on what you can do differently.
Find out what you really want~Do you want companionship, a friend with benefits, or a committed mate that you can build true love with? These questions to yourself are pertinent to refining your needs and/or desires. These questions can also guide you to the right mate for you.
Get in touch with the person you were before you met your partner~ When we get involved with someone, we somehow lose ourselves in the process. While loving him/her, we tend to forget to love ourselves. Get in touch with who you were before you both met while implementing the lessons you’ve learned as you move forward as a single person.
Have gratitude~ Every loss is a painful reminder of what you could have or should have done differently, but it’s also a beautiful reminder that you can always evolve as a person. Use the losses as a stepping stone to greater things in your life. For every loss, there are tons of blessings around the corner. Be patient.
Show off your inner radiance~You’ll attract the person who can see it; the person who’s meant for you.


As single mothers, it’s impossible to go through a whole year, or even a few months, without navigating through tough situations. I’m a witness that despite my setbacks, I continue to stay optimistic. My circumstances will never outweigh all of the accomplishments I have thus far. As a person who is determined to make a better life for her kids, no amount of negativity or set back is powerful enough to keep me down. It’s all about keeping a positive attitude, moms. Even during your most troubled times. Here are 8 ways to stay positive as a single mother.

Meditate- This is a surefire way to keep you balanced and at ease. Single mothers deal with a lot, especially if there’s barely any help from the dad. Meditation centers you just enough to keep you from becoming overwhelmed. Only then is when you can come to solutions to your problems without the need to stress. We function better when our emotions aren’t too heavy and guess what?…it even helps lower your blood pressure!

Stay optimistic- As hard as it may seem, staying optimistic is a good way to keep from going into depression &/or sadness. Just remember, before everything good happens, everything falls apart. If you’re going to tough times now as a single mom, just know it’s a temporary setback to a permanent blessing.

Stay cordial with dad- Let’s face it, we’ll always co-parent with the dad, so why not remain cordial? Even if there was a bad break-up, staying “friendly” will help alleviate some of the ill feelings you have. If you can stand to be in the same room with dad, then you’re on to a good start. Being cordial requires a lot of effort on both sides, I’m sure. But remember…the more you both look out for each other, the easier things will be for you, mom. If for whatever reason dad isn’t in the picture at all, use his absence as a stepping stone to becoming a SuperMom, proudly rockin’ your cape.

Be selfish- It’s okay to be selfish with your time because you deserve to. Having time for yourself helps you to keep from pulling hairs. Because of the day to day task of dropping your kid off, working your 9 to 5, picking your kid up, and doing motherly duties, bedtime would be the only time for you to enjoy. Not quite beneficial if you’re sleeping, only to wake up and do it all over again. You need a sufficient amount of time to recoup. Plan a weekend getaway for yourself. It’s the perfect way to reflect on what’s needed in your life to establish peace.

Have conversations with your child(ren)- Kids has a way of showing you how easy it is for us to have a better outlook on life. Their innocent young minds are filled with thoughts of the three Fs- fun, freedom, and fulfillment. Naturally so, because they have yet to experience a generous amount of responsibility. By having enlightening conversations with our kids, they’ll remind us how we should implement those three Fs into our daily lives.

Work on goal/hobby- Doing something that pleases you not only takes your mind off the stressful stuff, but you’ll never know what may come out of it unless you stick with it. Want to learn how to play an instrument? Invest in the instrument and practice! Wanna learn how to drive? Sign up for a class! Wanna launch a blog site? Build it! Wanna become a makeup artist? Create your portfolio! Any goal or hobby you’ve always wanted to do, you have the chance to do it.

Log Off- the time you spend on social media could be the time you could use to better yourself. Log off and enjoy life. You’ll also get to know a little more about yourself when you’re not investing too much time on social media. The more you learn about yourself, the more you’ll know what you’ll want out of life as opposed to struggling with it.

Love the life you live- Although you’ve been faced with many challenges as a single mom, you’ve had the ability to endure them and you still stand strong. Your perseverance is proof that as long as you have a heartbeat, you can overcome anything. Let your sacrifices, heartbreak, disappointments, and struggles become your lessons and motivate to you live the best life you deserve.

As single mothers, we all go through tough financial times. That’s why it’s important to find ways to make things easier for us when it comes to money.

We shouldn’t have to make sudden life decisions at the gas pump…

We shouldn’t have to limit ourselves from having fun (Moms need to get away too)…

We shouldn’t have to worry about falling short on a bill to pay for another.

But we all have dome it all at some point. I got tired of living that way so I’ve researched, as well as come up with some ideas on how to keep my wallet  full and my bank account from going into the negative.


Here are 8 ways to ball on a Mommy budget!

Thrift Store Shopping– Don’t knock it! You will find the cutest top, skirt, sweater, or whatever you’ll need for only a couple of bucks. You will totally clean up at the thrift store. Nothing beats getting six adorable outfits for no more than Twenty bucks! It’s perfect for vintage shoppers such as myself!

Couponing– I have yet to try this, but I have friends who do it and say it’s the best thing since the invention of bread. You have to follow a system that’s difficult to keep up in the beginning but the more you do it, the better it gets. The more you buy, the more money you’ll save.

Shop for school clothes when school ends!– As a last-minute shopper, I regret not knowing about this sooner. School clothes are often cheaper off school season. It makes sense because we’re not shopping for any when school ends and Summer approaches. Tidbit: Shop for Winter clothes in the Summer & Summer Clothes in the Fall.

Eat in more– Sometimes, we give in to the constant nagging of our kids wanting McDonalds, and we do it to shut them up. However, not only is it more unhealthy…we’re also spending money unnecessarily. We can buy ground beef (or turkey which I’d suggest) and make our own burgers that will last a couple of days. Want french fries? Buy a bag of potatoes, cut them up, and bake them. They’re just as good if you season them right and a lot healthier.

Drop unnecessary bills– Why have cable when you’re not home most of the day anyway? When you are, you’re tending to your children and preparing for the next day. Drop that 80 bucks a month cable bill and get Netflix for 8 bucks a month. You’ll be just as entertained and for a cheaper price. Besides, there’s no cable app you can conveniently download to your mobile device like Netflix….so yeah.

Make vacations a group thing– Planning a vacation? Invite more to come along to make the bill cheaper for you. When traveling and getting away in groups, it makes the bill lighter for everyone, making the vacation less stressful and more fun.

Do a money challenge– Using a guide such as the one below to challenge you into saving money can be very helpful. By the end of the challenge, you’ll stay accustomed to just saving without needing the guide to remind you.

52-week-money-challenge_21798Don’t spend money recklessly– We have to decipher our wants and our needs. We have to know our limits. We have to decide what’s more important. Do we want that new hairstyle or can we afford to be late with that next bill? Be smart about your money. Get what you need now so you can afford what you want later. You can’t admire your new hairstyle, looking in the mirror when your lights are out.



While this topic applies to both women and men, I feel compelled to share my thoughts with my sisters since it appears we have a harder time getting over a bad break up. A lot of us tend to jump from one relationship to another without giving ourselves time to heal. Hence, the relationship addiction that we suffer from. I’ve compiled a list of 8 reasons why we should chill between relationships.

You need to give yourself a sufficient amount of time to heal your heart.

Use the time alone to evaluate where things went wrong in the relationship and evolve from it.

Use the time apart for growth of self.

Make peace with what has happened and accept that you’re single. It’s important to know the level of your strength being single woman. You may surprise yourself and enjoy being single.

Work on a project you’ve considered doing, but didn’t have time because of quality time with “bae”.

Have a girls’ night in. Having a great late night convo with your closest girlfriends could help you clear your head.

Ask yourself if this break up could be a lesson or a blessing.

A break up could really be a blessing, so think long and hard before you go running back to him.

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