YOU DO NOT HAVE TO OVER-COMPENSATE FOR YOUR CHILD(REN) IF YOU ARE SINGLE!
Stop thinking that giving into their EVERY want is somehow filling the void of not having dad around as much. Stop thinking discipline isn’t necessary because the child didn’t ask to be born and shouldn’t have to adhere to the rules of life. Stop being so passive, and stop being afraid to put your FOOT IN THEIR ASSES WHEN NEED BE. Stop spoiling these damn kids, because spoiled kids are not cute! It’s not funny, and it’s not okay. Stop Stop STOP!!!!!!!
Remember, mommy… you are not just raising a child as a single parent, you’re raising a student. Teachers and classmates have to deal with your child every day. You’re raising someone’s future spouse. This person will have to live and deal with your child for the rest of their lives. You’re raising a future parent. Your grandchildren will be raised by your child. You’re raising a future employee or employer. You need to teach your child about discipline and work ethic in order for them to achieve some kind of success in life. You are raising an individual who has to be able to stand on their own two feet one day. Stop baby-ing these kids! Don’t be afraid to teach them to be self-sufficient. Teach them how to wash their clothes AND put them away. Show them what you do to run your household and have them participate. From cleaning to banking… keep in mind that they’re watching YOUR every move and hearing everything that comes out of your mouth. Now I’m not saying for you to become a drill sergeant… make life fun for your kid as you teach them what it’s really about.
Mommy, you don’t have to feel guilty for being a single parent. Whatever happened between you and dad happened. If he’s in their lives, great. If he’s not, great. You still have to raise them. Think of the long-term effects of what you’re adding to their lives and you’ll see. If you know that you give into their every demand, like having every single video game to ever come out no matter the cost but their grades are crap… yeah, you’re not helping. Stop thinking that the buying every single video game can make up for dad not being around. You’re allowing your guilt to let your children play you. They know you’re gonna get everything they want because you “don’t want them to feel like they missed out an anything because dad isn’t around”. Yeah, I’ve heard it before and can I tell you… you’re full of shit if you really believe that.
Mommy, I’m not trying to come down on you. I know the sacrifices you’ve made for your children and I know it’s hard to do it on your own. Oh, and I know that the kids don’t come with instructions. Oh, and I know you’re tired. And I know that this wasn’t the life you had in mind for you and the kids. I know you’re doing the best you can being both mommy and daddy (although I don’t believe mommy can ever be daddy but that’s another topic for another day). I get it. I’m a single parent as well. BUT BUT BUT… and I need you to get this… we have to be aware of what we teach these kids about life. No matter who was in or out of their lives… they’ll grow up and become adults. WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU RAISING? It begins while they’re little. Think about how you’d like to see them as adults and start guiding them in that manner. I’m telling you, mommy… your daily behavior with your children now will form them into either very productive and sensible adults or just plain assholes.
And we really don’t need any more assholes in this world! now, do we?