It’s unfortunate that every other woman we know may have never experienced an orgasm. It’s one of those delicate situations that should be demanded, but many women choose not to be verbal about it for fear of hurting their man’s pride.

Before I go further, let’s break down the technical term for orgasm.

Anorgasmia: The inability to reach orgasm; There are three levels.

Primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means)

Secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced

Situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations. For example, some women can only experience an orgasm through oral sex.)

As far as your partner, if he really cares (…and I’m pretty sure he would, he will go all out to make sure you achieve the biggest O possible. Men naturally want to take care of their woman sexually, so offending him should be the least of your worries, unless he’s really insecure.

For women who have never achieved an orgasm, I assume the myths behind orgasm deficit can really be a pain in the ass for some. I’ve heard and read myths that include women being frigid or emotionally unstable. I’ve also heard that if a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover. All of these myths are exactly what they are and couldn’t be further from the truth!

Here are a few factors:

The woman may have never taken the time to learn what type of stimulation she needs to fulfill her orgasmic desires.

A woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. However, that doesn’t mean her partner doesn’t have to be involved in helping her achieve the big O. This is where proper communication comes into play.

How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental or emotional stability.

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third of women can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation.

Okay, here’s the fun part. Learning what to do to achieve the big O!

Stay aroused after he ejaculates– It’s such a bummer when he’s done because you’re still aroused at this point. Here’s when not being “shy” is important. Suggest to your partner that you need to stay aroused. He can use his hands or his mouth…or BOTH!

Relax and don’t concentrate too hard- Nothing takes the enjoyment of sex away like thinking too much about achieving an O. Just focus on the act.

Communicate– Again…I can’t stress enough that talking things out are vital for your orgasmic needs.

 

Hope this helps my orgasmic deficit friends. Go have some sex & tell me how things went! 🙂

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.