This isn’t about being unreasonably demanding or super bossy because you have a vagina. This is more so about demanding respect in your relationship and making him aware of what you deserve.

We as women have the tendency to let our guard down so much when we jump into a relationship, we somehow forget that being honest, assertive, and direct are three important components to be to earn respect from our mates. Our lack of communication will eventually lead to a relationship that’s not going anywhere. We don’t speak our minds and express what we really want for fear of being looked at as ungrateful, difficult, or hard to deal with. What we fail to realize is that it’s exactly what men need.

Men need to see that we have a backbone to take us seriously.  A woman who demands respect in the relationship is a woman with respect for herself because she’s made it known that she won’t deal with the bullshit. She will check him the moment any amount of her intuition kicks in when she feels he’s being messy! She won’t have proof…so she can only go by her intuition and that’s proof enough until the slightest indiscretion is revealed. A secure woman is also a woman with standards who will never allow such disrespect and will bounce before he decides to be messy a second time.

You make the rules because you know your heart and how precious it is. You refuse to put your heart in the hands of a man who doesn’t know how to handle it with care. That type of woman will actually bring out the best in her mate.


Because she took the time to teach him what she won’t tolerate. In return, he will treat her as his priority because he doesn’t want to lose the one woman who was actually bold enough to put her foot down and tell him about his self.

As the woman, making the rules are important and necessary, because you have to teach a man how you want to be treated. When you have standards and expect him to meet them, he will willingly live up to them, because he sees your worth. The hard work to live up to your standards is worth it because he digs your honesty about what you want, what you need, and how you truly feel about him.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, men seek women who can bring out the best in them and a woman who makes the rules does that. Don’t be afraid to share what’s on your mind and be assertive and honest when you do. Your man will really appreciate your honesty, and if he cares enough about you, he will do all he can to meet your needs.

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.