We as women make it so hard for ourselves when it comes to love.

As a woman who’s experienced a few heartbreaks, I can tell you that the way a woman feels about herself can hinder or help a relationship. It all boils down to self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-love; three components that only WE should give ourselves before looking for them from our significant other. The most common roadblock that we experience when failing at love is over-thinking. The moment our significant other does or say something we don’t like or don’t make some sort of move quickly as we expect, thoughts creep up, leaving us wondering if we’re smart enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough, etc. This insecurity issue is a sign of lack of self-love. If a woman truly loves herself, her flaws or/and whatever she lacks shouldn’t fee like a hindrance. This issue also brings fear, anxiety, and a lot of worry over issues that might not exist.

A man won’t even make an attempt to love us if he sees we’re not loving ourselves. If we’re not getting what we need emotionally from our significant other, then I’d suggest focusing on changing the shift in how we think. We panic and become anxious about what could go wrong, we’re not enjoying the experience of being in the relationship with this person. At a time when building true love should be a priority, we spend time wondering if he thinks we’re worth it.

A confident woman will know she’s worth love. A woman with insecurities will never get to experience the love she wants if she cannot love and accept herself. It’s also about her knowing who she is and knowing what she wants out of life. This confident woman also demands respect. Men are considered visual creatures, but in all honesty, they’ll fall in love with her personality and inner beauty before anything else. Her outer beauty only adds to his admiration for her. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world but if your confidence doesn’t match, then you’ll fail in love miserably. Men don’t feel like instilling positivity into a negative-thinking woman; they’ll feel they’ll do themselves a disservice if they have to spend energy constantly convincing a pessimistic woman that she has nothing to worry about and just enjoy the moment of being together.

Let’s work on our thought pattern for the better. Let’s work on love of self before we look for it in others. There’s nothing sadder than a woman who fails at love with her significant other and in the end doesn’t have enough to give herself.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.