We live in a world where folks are fascinated with the dating life of others, especially when they, themselves, don’t have a dating life. Those people like to either live vicariously through you or look to others for the latest TEA on who you’re involved with.

We also live in a world where lovers of love can’t wait to show off their significant other. You log on to your Facebook or Instagram, because apparently, this person you’re seeing has made you feel what you’ve never felt before. It could be at least three weeks into this union, but so, what?! You’re gonna show him/her off because you’re “in love”.

Most of us who are reading this has been guilty of this at some point in our lives. We don’t often see how huge a mistake it is until you realize you and him/her wasn’t meant to be.

Status updates that were once about dates you were on and “liking the road ahead”, are now words from venting and other stuff that clearly needs to be written in a diary(do people still use those?). We also notice the obvious disappearance of photos of the two of you that you’ve just posted a month ago.

It could all be a humiliating experience and will give the nosey folks more to talk about.

This is why dating privately and keeping who you date off social media is important. Not only does it keep you from embarrassing yourself, but as much as we want things to work out, we don’t know what the future holds. Dating privately gives you the opportunity to strengthen your relationship…something we should take the time to do, instead of jumping in head first into exclusivity. A lot of us tend to do that without realizing it. It’s all a part of the excitement of experiencing something new.

Awhile ago, I wrote a piece called The Best Sign Of a Healthy Relationship is No Sign Of it on Facebook. It’s difficult for me to believe that NO sign of a relationship on Facebook means that it’s healthy. Additionally, this piece is about the distinction between private and secret among established couples; pinpointing the obvious discretion. I just wanted to put that out there for those who  thinks I’m contradicting myself.

Same issue, different circumstance


I urge my ladies to wait until the both of you establish something genuine…you know, like an actual COMITTMENT before you go public. Nothing screams premature actions and preconceived notions than moving too quickly with your social media friends as witnesses. Don’t be the one who cannot wait to show off your mate, only to do a “post and delete” weeks later.




Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.