When we fall in love, we ‘ll want to scream it from the mountaintop and let the whole world know. Unfortunately, we live in a world where outside influences can either help or hinder people in healthy new relationships. For a lot of couples starting out, maintaining a low-key relationship is necessary. I wonder how helpful it could be for couples who spend more time hiding their relationship, rather than foster it?

It depends…

Keeping a relationship private is one thing

Keeping a relationship a secret is another

Some couples have a hard time balancing the practice of both and the rest lean more on one side than the other, which could cause a huge conflict for both involved. A lot of couples use social media and follow each other on it. Those couples have to practice discretion, which is challenging because that requires a lot of self-control, particularly for the woman.

Reasons why couples keep their relationship private:

a)As stated earlier, outside influences such as temptation will keep the new relationship strong. It’s a known fact that people will try to come for your woman/man when they find out you’re in a relationship. Sad, but true. Those are who you call opportunists. They see a happy couple in love and they want that, too.

b)If you break up, you won’t be as embarrassed or humiliated if everyone knew.

c) Only a few close relatives and close friends will know about the relationship. the less people that know, the better it’ll be for you both.

All of the aforementioned are logical and understandable reasons to keep a relationship private. However, there’s usually one of the two who works doubly hard to keep the relationship a “secret”. The other is oblivious to it until he/she realizes one thing that separates the two; The actions of the person screams single.

I’ll give you one scenario

Scenario: You are online and see an image posted of your significant other partying hard with a couple of friends of the opposite sex. This could cause frustration and disappointment for two reasons; 1) he/she isn’t concerned about how you’ll feel once you see the image. 2) It’s possible that the friends don’t know about you. Hence, the reason you weren’t at the party with them. Your significant other never mentioned a party to you.

Let’s face it, someone keeping a relationship a secret is most likely less committed to his/her partner. Couples in both private and secret relationships can develop stress from trying to maintain discretion, which could eventually hurt the relationship. One would have to closely examine the other to see which the relationship truly fall under. Either way, doing more to maintain discretion will eventually build doubt about being in love. Is the love you both share strong enough to make the relationship public?

That’s the golden question

 

 

 

 

Lakia Nichole
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