It’s a question that everyone seems to have a hard time answerin, because a lot of folks think it goes hand in hand. Well…I beg to differ. In my opinion, you can easily separate the two. Think about it!

Definition of love– 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, sibling, friend, or significant other.

Definition of Respect-A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Both definitions definitely describe a venerated feeling from one person to another due to admiration. It’s generally the same, but different overall. While I wish I could say that if you’re loved then you’re easily respected, I just can’t. I will take respect over love any day. What trips me out is that some folks will break down love with “unconditional love”. No matter how deep or “unconditional” a person’s love may have for you, that person still needs to respect you twice as much. Respect really goes a long way and if you don’t see that, then I’d have to ask how blinded you can be when it comes to “love”? Would you as a person who is experiencing love even recognize DISrespect if it happens?

 

A prime example of love VS. respect is the broken relationships (particularly marriages). The high divorce rate is staggering in the US, because of husbands/wives stepping out of their marriages and having affairs. Sure! Hubby loves wifey and Vice Versa, but having an affair certainly doesn’t classify as respect. Another example of love/respect…since some of the readers wanna include “unconditional” in the mix…our love for our kids are definitely unconditional….but I pray that they don’t grow to think it’s okay to steal money out of Mommy’s purse. Stealing money out of Mommy’s purse is definitely not respectful, but I won’t stop loving them because of that. Of course, I want my kids to love me unconditionally, but I want respect 10 times much because it shows that they’ll honor me enough to do what is deemed as appropriate and well-mannered. Of course, I want my future boo to love me because I’m fly! 😉 However, respect is better because he will treat me as an equal part of his life and will do everything in his respectful manner to see to it that I’m happy and fulfilled in our relationship.

In case you think I am, no…I am not knocking love. Love is very important in a relationship, especially intimate ones. If the person is worth your love then by all means, LOVE ON! But, don’t forget with love SHOULD come loads of amount of respect for one another. One can NEVER function properly without the other. That goes particularly for those in romantic relationships.

So, when it come down to it, I’m #TeamRespect. Not because I choose not to love or care not to be loved, but I choose to be honored accordingly as the person you see me as…a mom, a friend, a hard worker, and even a lover.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.