Although we don’t mean to, we hurt one another and even ourselves, when in relationships. Sometimes, we’re oblivious to our flaws and naturally so. We don’t often see that we’re pouring salt in our own wounds, and by the time we see things more clearly, it may be too late.

It all stems from how we see the world around us; what we were taught growing up, experiences we’ve had, and how we view ourselves. These are all factors that may make or break a romantic relationship.

No relationship is perfect. However, there are ways to keep a relationship living to its fullest potential. Here are the five biggest mistakes we make in relationships and what we can do to correct them.


You’re not accepting your mate for who he/she is

If you spend any amount of energy trying to change your mate, then you’re totally wasting it. That only means you’ve been trying to change the person that he/she is and has since y’all exchanged numbers. The relationship is destined to fail if you can’t allow yourself to accept the kind of person your mate is or wants to be.

Solution: The person you fell in love with and/or care for will be that same person. Accept that and if you can’t live with that, then maybe the person is not right for you.



You don’t know your worth

Truth be told, not knowing your self-worth will keep you living in singlehood until you come correct and know that shit like your social security number. No one wants to be with a person who doesn’t value their selves. Eventually, the person you’re with will take notice and will begin to treat you the way you see yourself.

Solution: Start respecting yourself and recognize just how truly valuable you are. Your whole persona will change once you do. You’ll also see things more clearly; what you like, don’t like, and what you deserve. Your mate will know when you know.



You attempted to snatch him/her up too quickly

Nothing will ruin a good, fresh, “still getting to know” type of relationship like a person who moves too fast. That kind of behavior will make the person very uncomfortable because it screams desperation. When we’re so consumed with finding “the one”, we act out of anxiety.

Solution: The subtle approach is best and patience is key. Just focus on having fun, instead of trying to build a commitment. When the time is right, you’ll feel it. No need in rushing it.



No trust

Whether the trust was broken, or simply wasn’t built from the beginning, not trusting your mate is a surefire way for your relationship to fail. If you can’t trust your mate, why are you with the person?

Solution: Talk things out. Make your mate aware of why trust is difficult to have. If your mate cares about your feelings and cares about a future with you, he/she will do what’s needed to gain your trust.



No inspiration

A person has to see or feel some level of inspiration from you to see a future with you. If your mate isn’t inspired, then it’s a rap!

Solution: Make sure the person resonates with who you are as a person. If he/she can easily blend in with your life, your personality, your passion, your beliefs, etc., then this person is a great fit for you… like the last piece to the puzzle. Trying to make a relationship work with someone who isn’t inspired by you is like trying to force a puzzle piece to fit while other pieces are still scattered on the table.


Your puzzle has to match your mate’s picture



Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.