It’s been over a year and you and your man has been kickin’ it. It’s just enough for you to consider the idea of you two being in a relationship because you fell in love with him and you think he’s the perfect guy for you. You don’t need any other man in your life because you’ve found “the one”. It’s a beautiful thing when someone gives their all to only one person. However, there’s an issue that’s arisen and actually has six months into the relationship. The issue is neither one of you have discussed being committed to one another.

Guys who are not looking to commit to a woman will do the biggest trick in the book by doing just enough to make you think y’all are a real couple without saying y’all are a real couple.

Why?

Because when things go south, he can easily say that he didn’t cheat because y’all were never committed to one another.

You’ve become bamboozled by the quality time, the dates, the plane trips, and the dick so much, you’ve never taken into consideration that you are still an option. You hoped the few discussions y’all have had about “keeping things 100” has resonated with him, but the words you spewed at him went in one ear and out the other.

Why?

He actually kept it 100 since the day y’all have met. You were just too in love to see things for what it really was. You’ve yearned for the attention you were getting from him and because of the attention you were finally getting, you focused on nothing else but the idea of being together officially. You’ve assumed the few talks about taking things further would motivate him enough to give you a title as his girlfriend he is committed to.

You’ve developed the idea of being committed, even after catching him being messy a few times.

Why?

Because for you, getting him to say “I’m yours, and you’re mine” is a challenge for you that you’re willing to take. You’re subconsciously in competition with another chick or two, which makes you feel more in love with him. It doesn’t make sense… but it makes sense. You’re trying to prove to him that despite his setbacks with a few other chicks, you’re willing to turn the other cheek and fight for all of his attention and his love…because you’re in love with him. As a result, you continue to wait….and wait….and wait, until he claims you. According to your biological clock and the fact that you’re getting older, he’s doing everything right. You just want him to claim you as you have of him already.

Distinguishing the difference between what you want and what you need is important. You want a committed relationship and that’s okay. What’s not okay is waiting around for him to change his mind. While he’s exploring his options, you’re sitting around, treating him as your priority. Keep in mind that you could be blocking your true blessing of a man who has surpassed you with a few chapters from the same book and wants what you want, while you’re waiting for your guy to join you on the same page.  It’s not fair to neither one of you.

Think about that the next time you suggest to him about keeping things “100“.

 

 

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.