It’s not rocket science…

However, a lot of us still struggle with figuring out which “ship” we’re in. The funny thing is that it’s quite easy to distinguish the two when we’re not involved with anyone. When we are involved, we find ourselves wondering, assuming and become uncertain, as a result. Being in a situationship feels like a relationship…except it isn’t. Any time you find yourself struggling to choose the right words to describe your status…you’re in a situationship.

There are other signs that’ll easily show you if you open your eyes and ears.



The both of you are making plans to invest in a future together.

Sex is not the focus/center of your relationship

You’ve both made the decision to practice monogamy

You both want a relationship and you both made it known to each other

You both make a conscious effort to meet each other’s needs.

He wants to build something genuine with you, as you do with him.

He publicly acknowledges you as his girlfriend/woman/lady/future wifey, etc.  When someone invests in you emotionally, they have no problem letting their family and closest circle of friends know who you are and how much you mean to them.




He avoids talking about the future

He will remind you as much as possible that you two are “just friends”.

Time with you is limited

Sex is a priority in your relationship

He is dating others and even suggests you should date others, too.

His family and friends have never met you

Most of your communication is via text

The best way to describe you two is that you’re “involved”, ” talking”, or “figuring things out, but y’all are together”.

Through his actions, he’s showing you that you aren’t good enough for a commitment, and the sad part is you’d rather wait around for him to verbally express when you finally are.



Because there’s no commitment, you best believe you’re not the only one he’s “talking to”, whether he’s the commitment type or not. Anyone who isn’t ready to commit is really careful not to give someone they’re just sexin’ a title.

Why? because he doesn’t want to put himself in a situation where it’ll be hard for him to get out of. As you both got to know each other, he’s realized he purchased your heart from the clearance table. That’s why he’s still window shopping for other hearts in the glass case. When men see you as an option, that’s how they’ll treat you in case they meet someone who intrigues them more. You’re in a situationship because your “hope factor” won’t allow you to demand exclusivity. Your “hope factor” has made you soft. You know you want a relationship, but you won’t express that for fear of losing him altogether. That’s an issue people in RELATIONSHIPS won’t ever have to deal. Don’t let your desire to be in a relationship make you settle for the minimally basic shit he chooses to do for you. That basic shit that you accept may never get upgraded.



Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.