If he’s had one vagina, he’s had them all, so what makes yours so special, that he will change what he’s accustomed to doing?

Because us women are such nurturers, we tend to care so much and sometimes to a fault. Especially, when we fall in love or what some say “catch feelings”. When men enter our lives, we invest a lot our energy into helping them in any way possible to keep them satisfied and not stray. The problem is that they’ve never asked for any of our help. We voluntarily become their “savior” because it solidifies our love for them but in the midst of saving them, they are truly becoming victims of our emotional manipulation. They’re oblivious to this, however, they do know that they’re getting everything from you without having to work for it, so why should they “come clean” about their true intentions for you? “If it’s not broke, don’ try to fix it” is the hidden motto for some of these type of relationships.

There’s also the problem with settling. A lot of us are guilty of that when we’re either tired of waiting on the type of man we really desire or we’re just tired of being lonely. In both cases, we see his “potential” with our rose-colored glasses. We use sex among other things to mold them into someone we need them to be.

We need to accept people for who they are and not for what we want them to be. 

We also have to accept that these men aren’t looking to be saved. They didn’t ask to be and they don’t need to be. They are grown men who need to find their own way if need be. Ask yourself…are you helping them for them or are you helping them for you?

There’s a fine line between being helpful & being manipulative. Either way, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak.

A queen knows that she doesn’t have to convince her king that she’s worth a commitment in any way.

A queen knows that she doesn’t have to use her vagina as bait.

Your king will confirm and assure you of that, darlin’. Put your crown back on and make him work! 😉



Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.