We all know at least two people who will tell you they don’t mind being single even if they are for the rest of their lives. Not only are they lying to you, but they are in complete denial and bullshittin’ themselves.

Everyone wants love…everyone needs love….everyone wants to eventually get caught up & do that forever happily ever after relationship, wedding vows and all. There’s no logical reason for anyone wanting to stay single. I can understand wanting to be single for the moment.

Maybe you’ve just ended a relationship and need time to heal

I get that…

but those artificial reasons are wack.

I like the freedom to do anything I want to do.

I like my options

I don’t have time to be in a relationship.

Those excuses are all masks to cover up how you really feel. You don’t want to let your guard down and let love in, so you use the “I’m Good” mentality as a defense mechanism. There’s always some underlying fear of commitment for various reasons, but for the most part..you’re scared. You want to be in a relationship…you just don’t want to get hurt. If men and women value relationships like they should, they’d understand that freedom as well as space are essential ingredients for a healthy loving relationship. Even a couple deeply in love doesn’t want to be in each other’s face all the time. That’s relationship killer potential! Giving each other some space and freedom between cuddling and sucking face is guaranteed to keep the relationship spicy.

Men and women deal with this “I’m good” mentality differently. Women become dishonest with themselves the moment their guy proves he’s not ready for a commitment. For example, if a guy actually tells you that he won’t get mad if you see other guys, he’s telling you that he’s going to see other women. However, you my luv, will act like what he told you didn’t bother you (or practice selective hearing). You pretend “you’re good” out of fear of getting rejected, so you play along. Men see right through that and will use it to their full advantage. Men, however, will keep their options open with insecure women who don’t know any better. The ones who will use their vagina as bait for months to hold on to men who they’re uncertain loves them. He’ll continue to use them until the right one puts her foot down and demands what she wants. He’ll use that “I’m good” excuse until SHE comes along.

Not having time to be in a relationship is complete bullshit. If you can make time getting to know someone, have sex, and do relationship-type things to keep their attention, then you have time to be in a relationship.

It’s all about being honest with yourself. Your dude or lady will probably respect you more if you are honest about wanting a relationship from the beginning. Get rid of the fear of getting used or hurt. Everybody has at some point in their lives. It’s all about who you feel is worth the sacrifice of your heart and trusting the process.

Give it a chance. You may actually become pleasantly surprised at the outcome 🙂

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.