Should you send a text or not?

That is the one question that makes us bite our nails for sure! It’s one of those “damned if we do and damned if we don’t” type of situations.

The best thing that could happen is that you’ll receive a response. The worst thing that could happen is you won’t. You’ll never know unless you hit that ‘send’ button.

Texting has become such an integral part of our communication, that it has taken the place of email and in some cases, actual phone calls. Unfortunately, being judged by your “text etiquette” is the norm these days and for some of us who are anxious by nature, that could be a problem. Especially, in the dating realm.

Having mystery about yourself is a big part of someone’s attraction to you. Because of ppl’s judgments based on texts, their impression of you can be increased or decreased. As a result, your “mystery” can be manifested (according to how they’ll perceive you) into something they’d want to invest in, or something they’d rather not deal with. It truly depends on how you present yourself via text.

Scenario: You’ve met someone, exchanged numbers, talked quite a bit through actual phone conversations, but mostly text. You’ve even gone out a few times and really developed a genuine like for this person.  After weeks of getting to finally know each other, the calls and texts simmer down and you become worried. Your worry turns into anxiety.

When this happens, your texts will turn from “fun and flirty” to “pushy and attention-seeking” and that is a definite turn-off. Texts that includes  why are you not responding?, Did you get my text?, or texts as long paragraphs screams an insecure and needy person. Another thing to remember is to not send a text first ALL THE TIME. Give the person a chance to miss you enough to send the initial text. If the person doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world. If it becomes a week or two before a text is received by that person, remember that people have lives outside of texting and dealing with you, so don’t take it personally.

At this point, if you have to ask yourself if you should send this person a text, then the answer is most likely ‘NO’.

A person who is too focused on texting has too much time on their hands. Don’t be so available that when the person finally texts (or even call) you’ll answer right away. Surprisingly, being somewhat “elusive” is a big part of the thrill and a good challenge for someone who takes interest in you. Again…it’s that ‘mystery” I mentioned earlier. When you’re focused on other things in your life, you become less anxious about getting a text from your crush and that’s exactly what they are until a relationship is genuinely established.

The next time you get a text from your crush…

1)remember to keep it short and sweet

2)Be patient and let him or her text you first

3)Be unpredictable with your response time. It’ll keep them intrigued

4)Give just enough in your texts to keep them wanting more

5)Don’t appear needy with “where are you?” type of questions

Another thing to consider

Just because the texting/calling has simmered down doesn’t always mean that he/she has lost interest. Constant, around the clock texting shouldn’t be expected to last forever. Again…ppl have lives that don’t include you and if you are focused on other things, you’ll realize that. Sometimes, ppl need a break. Nothing more, nothing less.

The key to all of this is to not have expectations. A lot of us also read too much into texting, or lack thereof when we shouldn’t.

Time will eventually reveal the truth, So be patient, lower your expectations of what you think should happen, accept what is, and live your life. If you get a text, great! If not, don’t cry a river over it. It could be one less disaster of a relationship that you won’t have to deal with.

Lakia Nichole
Lakia Nichole's Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.