Hey guy….

If you’re reading this then you or someone you know has been put in this tough situation and don’t know how to deal. Whether you’ve dated a woman and things didn’t work out or you were placed there from the get-go, You being in the friend zone may not be a bad thing.

Let me share why…

It all boils down to the good guy Vs. the bad guy standards. It’s been known that ladies fall for the bad guy types because good guys are most likely considered boring, too nice, a little on the soft side( not confrontational), and lack good looks. As shallow and stupid as that may seem, women who go by this have no shame in admitting that. At least 60% of a successful relationship involves physical attraction. The rest of the % involves trust, respect, and of course love. If a woman is not physically attracted to you, she will not care about how queen-like you’ll treat her. Her motto is I can get all of that with a dude that I find attractive. I deserve EVERYTHING I want by a man I DESIRE. I’m pretty sure it leaves a huge blue and purple bruise on your ego and probably downgraded your confidence below 50%. However, it’s doing you guys a favor by weeding out the chicks who don’t deserve your energy and love, anyway. Truth be told… EVERYBODY is unattractive to someone. There’s a lady out there who thinks you’re sexy as hell. She’ll be the lucky woman who you’ll treat like a queen because she’ll accept your crown with appreciation.

What about the ones who goes for the bad guy types?

Because they love those tough hood guys with killer bodies and facial features to match, It’s pretty obvious that they’ll end up fighting for respect, loyalty and love. They’ll have to deal with the possibility of him being unfaithful because his good looks attract a lot of vagina. His “hoodness” could possibly keep him in trouble with the law, or just his overall attitude towards his woman because she allows it

There’s the saying “be careful what you ask for because you might just get it.”

Women want a bad guy type but don’t want the “bad” that comes with it. It’s that weird connection to being attracted to not just “a bad guy” but also drama. Some people get off on drama and when they carry it into their relationship, they’ll either mask it as passionate or that it’s a sign of really being in love. I’d wish both men and women realized that if someone really loves you, then they wouldn’t put you through too much emotional turmoil. A lot of people deal with drama in their relationships, because they feel it’s better than being alone. I use to hear the quote all the time “You’re not in a happy and healthy relationship if you don’t argue or fight once in a while.”

That’s complete bullshit.

There’s a difference between expressing a difference in opinions and just being downright disrespectful towards one another. The line between the two is not that thin. Talking to each other to come up with a solution is healthy. Over-talking each other and yelling is not.

Meanwhile…

Her “friend” which is you, my dear, is enjoying life with your new boo. So, thank your friend who put you where you needed to be. Don’t forget to pray for her. Some women don’t mean harm but the rest doesn’t care. Either way, you were placed in the friend zone and for good reason.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.