So, you’re dating a woman for less than a year and things were pretty good between you two during the first few months. After those few months, you begin to notice a change in her behavior, which you consider suspect. Statements like “I wonder what our babies will look like”, is something you thought was “cute” and let slide, until you saw a small bag of newborn baby clothes hiding conveniently behind her nightstand. Ever since then, you’ve gradually watched her “cuteness” transition into an obsessive and needy mess. you’ve questioned yourself and wondered how you got sucked into getting involved with this chick. It’s obviously due to the fact that you like vagina, but sex aside, this lady showed signs of being a well-balanced person in the beginning…or so she seemed.

Here are four signs that you’re dealing with a crazy lady and what you should do accordingly.

Excessive texting and calling– If your lady is texting you at least three times a day with little or no response from you, then she is exhibiting behavior of a needy person. In most cases, she has convinced herself that you are avoiding her. The more she feels that way, the more she needs to hear from you to prove herself wrong.

Solution: Maybe you should consider sharing with her that you’re obviously not much of a phone person and if you are..let her kindly know that you do have a life away from her. Not responding when she wants you to is a sign of being obsessive. Tell her that’s something you won’t stand for and if she can’t accept that you can’t answer or reply to every freakin’ call/text, then she has a problem…not you.

Checking your social media-  If she’s expressed to you that she doesn’t like you “liking” or commenting on your female friends’ social media profiles and vice versa, then she has too much time on her hands.

Solution: Unless she has good reason to insinuate excessive online flirting from you towards other women, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being social. After all…it is social media. Kindly let her know that what you do on your social media is your business and if she doesn’t like it, she can be deleted. No need to be exposed to something that you’re constantly going to have a problem with. By deleting her, you’re doing her a favor by forcing her to break an unhealthy habit of checking your social media and their social media, including going through friend lists, photos, etc. whenever she has free time.



She wants all of your time– She doesn’t understand that you have other obligations besides combating her separation anxiety.

Solution: This is a good time to evaluate the true meaning behind your relationship with her. Have a conversation with her about her need to be with you all the time. She’s suffering from a fear of abandonment which she developed during a period way before you’ve met her. At this point, you have to ask her about her true intentions about you and why y’all are together.  Are her feelings for you genuine or is she just using you to mask her fear?



She doesn’t like your female friends (your real life ones)– This has nothing to do with social media. This involves those you’ve known for a long time…some you’ve known since grade school.

Solution: Kindly let her know that they were your friends before you’ve met her and they will continue to be your friends. Platonic friendships shouldn’t be a threat to anyone’s relationship if trust is involved and no lines are being crossed. If you understand that, so should she and if she can’t roll with that…she can bounce.



When dating, we don’t often see the red flags, because people want to make first and lasting impressions. It’s when we become spoiled when we start doing the MOST. As a woman, I have to say bear with us, guys. A lot of us women who struggle with simplicity in the dating world can do or say things we wouldn’t normally do. When we’re given the right amount of attention, we’re not afraid to do what we can to not lose it. Unfortunately for some of us, we don’t realize how desperate we could look.

Whether you decide to keep seeing your lady or fall back, remember she means no harm. You’re obviously treating her well.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.