Being a mother can be a challenge.

Being a single mother can be a bigger challenge.

Being a single mother and dating is a highly difficult task!

No one said dating as a single parent would be easy, but dagnabbit! One would have to wonder why there wasn’t a warning! There are many factors single mothers have to consider when it comes to dating. Some we’ve expected and some we thought were impossible. The one thing I feel we can all agree on is that dating is HARD when you have little ones. Dating as a single mother can also be scary!

Single mothers also have to deal with the stigma that they’re looking for “fathers for their children”, which for the most part, is an assumption. The REAL father could be a part of their lives, but unfortunately…that’s not the initial thing that comes to the mind of a man who’s curious about the single mother he’s involved with.

Here are four ways single mothers can effectively balance the act of dating while being a mom:

Wait a while before introducing your guy to the kids- Introducing a prospective boyfriend to your kids is risky. Especially when you haven’t invested enough time in getting to know more of him. If things go south, you will not only be hurt, but the children will, too, because they’ve already gotten attached. Wait as long as you possibly can to introduce your guy to your kids. Waiting gives you the time to see if the both of you see the future on the same page.

 

Take pride in your low tolerance for bullshit- As single mothers, we’ve become less patient with any man who doesn’t live up to our particular standards. Because we spend most of our time with our children, we make sure we spend the bit of free time we have with someone with good qualities and not losers. One of the best ways to spend our free time is with people we like.

 

Be up front with your guy about your kid(s) father- The guy you’re dating becomes curious about the father of your little ones, as expected. Be honest about the relationship you and the father have and how much he’s a part of the kids’ lives with him. It will only make him respect you more.

 

You can still do the horizontal hokey pokey, but be discreet Whether the kids have met your guy or not, being intimate somewhere besides your home or when your kids are not home, is more appropriate. Not exposing them to clues that a man has spent the night shows respect for your children.

 

 

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.