The dating realm doesn’t come without “the cat and mouse” game that we sometimes are forced to play. Whether it’s the guy chasing the woman or the woman chasing the guy…either way, chasing leaves room for one of them to make a fool out of themselves without realizing it. I feel compelled to share these 8 ways with my ladies because..well, I’m a lady. As every other lady in this world, I slipped up a few times when I was the “cat” in a few cat and mouse games and let me tell you…that doesn’t feel good. If you’re the type of lady who goes for yours, then do you ladybug. However, I’m convinced that there’s a thin line between being approachable and being desperate. For some of us, it could be difficult to be the pursuer without appearing needy. With that kind of situation, I’d encourage you, ladybug, to stop chasing and start persisting. Here are 8 ways to stop chasing that guy you want and the reasons why.
- Realize that you’re a catch
Reason-You are worthy enough to be pursued, so don’t let your “go get him” attitude get in the way of that. Believe it or not, men appreciate the opportunity for a healthy chase without you beating him to the punch every single time. If you are always doing the catch; being the pursuer and/or always approaching by texting/calling, Facebooking, and everything else FIRST, he’ll lose interest of you quickly, rather than gain it.
- Give yourself a chance to be wanted
Reason- I think every woman wants to feel wanted by the guy she likes. However, it’s unfortunate to use that as motivation to be the initiator for dates, making plans, etc. We can be so focused on making good impressions, we don’t often see how damaging it could be for us. Let that guy take the role as the “plan maker”. You’d want to see how much effort he’ll use with wanting to get to know you.
- Let go of the idea of losing him or his interest in you
Reason-If you don’t remember anything else, remember that if he wants you, he’ll call you, text you, hits up your social media, etc. If he cares, he’ll show it. If he misses you, he’ll prove it. If his actions speak of not having any interest in you, don’t invest your time with trying to hold on to his by attention-seeking habits. He’s obviously showing you that you aren’t worth the effort.
- Know that he’ll keep running
Reason- As long as you keep chasing/pursuing him, he’ll keep running. In his mind, you won’t go anywhere. When and if he’s ready to respond, he’ll hit you. He’s subconsciously showing you that you are on his time while you’re working overtime trying to convince him that you’re worth a date. Let that resonate with you.
- You’ll give the right guy a chance to catch you
Reason- When you’re too busy trying to catch the wrong guy, you’ll miss your blessing with the right one. Simply put, you’re distracted by the wrong guy for all of the wrong reasons. This guy is wrong for you because he’s already showed you that. He’s going to keep running from you, as long as you continue to chase him. It’s not about you being a “go-getter”. It’s about recognizing what you do and don’t deserve. A man who is genuinely interested in you would never make you feel like you’re playing a game of cat and mouse.
- Realize the possibility of you fighting for a spot in his heart/life
Reason- Has it ever crossed your mind that he could be dealing with another woman? Chances are he’s running from you because his heart and his mind are preoccupied with feelings and thoughts about another woman. Keep that in mind the next time you feel the urge to keep his attention.
- Realize that God removes people from your life
Reason- God removes those who could be a lesson rather than a blessing. If you find yourself constantly chasing and initiating contact with this guy, then it’s for good reason. Maybe God is working on him. Learn when to chill and let things be. God’s got this!
- Do you
Reason- Focus on your own stuff! Work on yourself, your goals, your kids, your passion etc. When you take the focus away from him, you give yourself the opportunity to grow your confidence and your fierceness by tending to your own needs.