Since 2004, changing our relationship status on Facebook has somehow become more meaningful to us. We can share the news of our newly committed relationship to our family and friends, but oddly enough, letting Facebook know is the highest level of confirmation for them…and for the person who changes it.

It’s a beautiful thing when you both mutually decide to inform Facebook because you both are in love.

But what if you are the only one who thought you were in a committed relationship?

It could be extremely humiliating to later discover that you’ve acted prematurely on the assumption that you’re in a committed relationship.

So, after months of dating, this guy has totally swept you off of your feet. He does and says all the right things and even show signs of wanting something more with you. The truth is…we are never sure what HE wants until he expresses wanting a commitment So, why are we changing our FB status, only to be humiliated for all to witness?

Like I’ve said in this blog piece, we don’t often see how huge a mistake it is until you realize you and him/her wasn’t meant to be.

That’s why it’s important to “test the waters” for a while before changing your relationship status. Here are 4 main reasons why you should.

You should take the time to build a foundation– Take time to evaluate the relationship without sex. Would the relationship survive without sexual intercourse? Can you both find other ways to be intimate? Can you reach each other on a deeper level? These are questions you should ask yourself before telling yourself he’s “the one”.

Make sure you both are on the same page-  Knowing you both share similar ideas about the relationship definitely helps. Don’t jump in too fast because of how he makes you feel. You have to make sure he feels the same way, obviously. Even if he does, you have to make sure he’s ready for a committed relationship, as well.

Take time to strengthen your relationship before making it public– Time is a gift and when we use it wisely getting to know your significant other, we receive the biggest of blessings. Building a solid relationship with genuine love and respect takes time. Use the time to invest in each other, mind, body, and soul. Get the full scope of their being and find ways to mesh theirs with your being.

Learn to not use Facebook as motivation– When you’re in love, you want the whole world to know! As a result, you anticipate the day you can change our FB status. Nothing is wrong with that because that’s the thing to do in the age of social media; upgrade your “single” status to “in a relationship”. If it’s something you both want, great! However, the one thing I’d encourage is to not let social media, particularly Facebook, be your main source of motivation to prove how much in love you are. You’re simply trying to impress folks who don’t matter if you do. Again…for those who act too prematurely, we’re not even sure if you and your significant other are on the same page yet.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.