Contrary to popular belief, we women know that we give you guys a hard time but that’s only because we love you. We sometimes fail to realize that our expectations of the men we love is way off the meter and as a result, it’s your fault about a lot of things. I’ve compiled a small list of the four major things guys really want us to know, so we can stop trippin’ when things don’t go our way.


Men don’t have a clue what we want or how we feel- We expect our guy to be a mind reader when we know he doesn’t have that ability. Communicating beats assuming any day. With PROPER communication, they’ll know what’s sensitive to us and what’s not. They’ll know what we’ll like and dislike. They’ll know what we can tolerate and what we cannot tolerate. Most importantly, they’ll know what we’ll expect from them. Try leaving out the grey areas, so that the both of us can make better decisions off of black & white. Men won’t have a clue about anything unless we tell them.

Men don’t express themselves until they are really ready– Ladies, if your guy has been mute, just give him time. He may need time to take in the one-hour venting session you just gave him. OR, maybe he need time for that unexpected question you asked him a couple of days ago to resonate with him. If he doesn’t have much to say and tells you that during that tense conversation, it’s not that he’s being uncompassionate, he just need to time to come up with the words to explain his side or express his concern without hurting your feelings.

All Men Don’t Cheat– There are men out there that are capable of being faithful to their women. They can cheat if they want, but they choose not to. Those are the ones who’ll prefer stability, loyalty, and respect in a relationship. If your man doesn’t honor those, then it’s time for a new man.

Men want to feel needed– What’s the point of being in a relationship if you are “Ms. Independent”? If your man feels like he isn’t needed in the relationship, he’ll bounce. There’s nothing wrong with providing for self, but it’s everything wrong when you don’t give your man a chance to provide for you. Give him the time &/or chance to “be yours” through changing your tire, taking you to dinner, or simply making choices that usually involves only you. Ask for his opinion on something to show him that you value his mind. Most importantly, never stop showing him how much he means to you….even after years together.

Lakia Nichole

Lakia Nichole’s Blog is a platform to showcase love for my people, our culture, and all positive things in-between.